FBI: Trump was hiding Area 51 space aliens at Mar-a-Lago
MAR-A-LAGO, FL—Genesius Times has just received credible information that the wild speculation that the Mar-a-largo Raid was the result of...
Newsbeat
BREAKING: Russians massacre innocent Ukrainian family in cold blood
KYIV—Russians have brutally massacred an innocent Ukrainian family for no reason as shown in a surveillance video. US President* Biden...
Amid skyrocketing inflation, Hunter Biden forced to pay 18% to ‘The Big Guy’
WASHINGTON, DC—No one is exempt from the skyrocketing inflation, including President* Joe Biden's son Hunter, who is now forced to...
Biden: ‘FBI has enough evidence to indict Trump on charges of misdemeanor malarkey’
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Joe Biden says that the FBI now has enough evidence to indict Trump on charges of misdemeanor malarkey....
AOC reports she’s in stable condition after the assassination attempt on Salman Rushdie’s life
WASHINGTON, DC—US Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has reported that she is in stable condition today after the assassination attempt on author...
BREAKING: Pope Francis bans all ‘assault rosaries’ from Catholic homes, churches
THE VATICAN—Following the Atlantic's article identifying the rosary as an "extremist" assault weapon, the Holy Father has moved to ban...
BREAKING: Liz Cheney being airlifted from Wyoming to DC following primary election
CHEYENNE, WY—Republican Liz Cheney was seen being airlifted out of her Wyoming habitat after residents in the state overwhelmingly voted...
BREAKING: Supporting law enforcement is okay again
(CNN)—Millions of "Defund the Police" activists are cheering the FBI raid on former president Trump's Mar-a-Lago estate and criticizing the...
BREAKING: Biden changes nuclear codes to ‘password’ to be more secure following Trump raid
WASHINGTON, DC—Following reports that former President Donald Trump has been selling the nation's nuclear codes as part of his 2024...
BREAKING: Hunter Biden tests positive for every disease except COVID
US—During this global health crisis, austere businessman Hunter Biden has tested positive for every disease except for COVID, which is...
