Biden shocked his “gun-free school zone” law hasn’t worked
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Joe Biden is shocked that a law he introduced in 1990 prohibiting guns at schools didn't work. "We...
Newsbeat
BREAKING: Biden issues executive order outlawing shooting people at schools
US—Following a mass shooting in Uvalde, TX Monday, President* Biden has decided to take unprecedented measures to protect the country...
BREAKING: AOC confirms her longtime boyfriend is pregnant with her child
WASHINGTON, DC—Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) is putting the unconfirmed reports about her love life to rest. In an exclusive interview with...
Elongate: SpaceX employee complains about Elon Musk’s huge rocket
AUSTIN—A former SpaceX employee is complaining about CEO Elon Musk's huge rocket in a scandal that has been dubbed "Elongate"....
Buffalo shooting is NY’s worst mass murder since Cuomo killed 15k nursing home patients in 2020
BUFFALO—New York is grieving and they are scared after 10 people - now named by officials - were gunned down...
Department of Misinformation opens first ‘Truth Camp’ near Bakersfield
BAKERSFIELD, CA—The Department of Misinformation opened the first Truth Camp this weekend. Several anonymous sources have confirmed that 27 persons,...
BREAKING: Naomi Judd used Alec Baldwin’s new assisted suicide service: On-Set Solutions
LEIPERS FORK, TN—Ashley Judd, daughter of recently deceased mom and Country Western star, Naomi Judd explained the tragic events preceding...
Chinese gay community boasts 73 characters, LGBTQ+ cries foul
BEIJING—Gay activist, Peni Xi Hung announced the addition of 13 more groups to the Chinese gay + community bringing the...
White House selects Baghdad Bob to replace Jen Psaki as press secretary
WASHINGTON, DC—The White House has hired austere press relations master Baghdad Bob to replace outgoing Press Secretary Jen Psaki. President* Joe...
Biden denies 2000 mules were used in 2020 election fraud; says ‘it was more like 5000’
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Joe Biden has responded to the bombshell documentary 2000 Mules, which alleges there were 2000 ballot traffickers in...
