Newsbeat

BREAKING: Congress votes to increase inflation 25% in order to decrease inflation 1%

Exavier Saskagoochie August 8, 2022

WASHINGTON, DC—The Senate on Sunday voted to pass H.R. 5376, otherwise known as the "Inflation Reduction Act", 51-50 which will increase inflation...

BREAKING: Brittney Griner wins, won’t have to listen to US National Anthem for next 9 years

Exavier Saskagoochie August 4, 2022

MOSCOW—US women's basketball player Brittney Griner has won her Russian court case and won't have to listen to the National...

91% of Americans disappointed China didn’t blow Nancy Pelosi’s plane out of the sky

Exavier Saskagoochie August 2, 2022

US—A Pew Pew Institute poll conducted today shows that 91% of Americans are disappointed that China didn't blow Nancy Pelosi's...

BREAKING: Biden makes ‘State of Emergency’ the 51st state of the Union

News That Matters August 2, 2022

WASHINGTON, DC—In an unprecedented move, President* Joe Biden has unilaterally made "State of Emergency" the 51st state of the Union—a...

BREAKING: China threatens to cut Pelosi off from vodka if she lands in Taiwan

Exavier Saskagoochie August 2, 2022

BEIJING—A senior official in Beijing has pulled out all the stops in trying to prevent a US Speaker of the...

BREAKING: FBI investigating invisible noose found in AOC’s office

News That Matters August 1, 2022

WASHINGTON, DC—The FBI has sent 15 agents to investigate an invisible noose found in US Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez's office yesterday....

JUST IN: White House Press Secretary replaced by a literal gaslight

Exavier Saskagoochie August 1, 2022

WASHINGTON, DC—After acknowledging the difficulty in constantly gaslighting the American public about everything from the economy to the war in...

Zelensky and wife pose for Vogue cover with their new billions

Exavier Saskagoochie July 29, 2022

KYIV—The war conflict between Ukraine and Russia continues, while that happens the President of the country with capital in Kyiv, Volodymyr Zelensky, appeared...