BREAKING: Dozens of fat ugly women won’t have sex with you until you support killing babies
US—Following the leak of the SCOTUS decision overturning Roe v Wade, many brave and entirely unattractive feminists have taken to...
Politics
BREAKING: Roe v Wade reinstated as Democrats find 150,000 Supreme Court votes at 2am
WASHINGTON, DC—In a shocking turn of events, the Supreme Court has reversed its earlier decision to overturn Roe versus Wade...
Planned Parenthood signs lease with Spirit Halloween after SCOTUS overturns Roe v Wade
US—In a savvy business move, the nation's leading abortion provider Planned Parenthood has signed a lease with Spirit Halloween to...
CNN: Insurrection is okay again
(CNN) Following the devastating Supreme Court ruling overturning the hallowed Constitution and Roe v Wade, insurrection is okay again. Many...
The ‘Love Wins’ crowd threatens to ‘Burn it all down’ if they can’t keep killing babies
US—The "Love Wins" crowd has threatened to "Burn it all down" if they can't keep killing babies following the Supreme...
OPINION: If you don’t like the SCOTUS decision, then you can just start your own judicial system
Ok dear reader, if I know you, and you certainly know me, then I know you are having a terrible,...
Biden’s FDA bans Juul from selling e-cigarettes; approves them selling crack instead
WASHINGTON, DC—A new report says that the Food and Drug Administration is planning to cut off Juul e-cigarettes from the...
New MasterClass offering: Joe Biden Teaches Riding a Bike
US—MasterClass always chooses the best people for their classes. Like when they chose Paul Krugman to teach economics. That was...
Justin Trudeau announces he has COVID after wife asks him to clean dishes
OTTAWA—Justin Trudeau revealed yet another case of poorly-timed COVID when his wife asked him to finish cleaning the dinner dishes.The...
BREAKING: SARS-CoV-2 has finally met its maker
Dr. Anthony Fauci, the nation’s leading infectious disease creator, tested positive for COVID-19 Wednesday. Fauci, 81, tested positive on a rapid...
