Biden installs windmills in White House to take advantage of all that wind knocking people over
WASHINGTON, DC—President Joe Biden has installed several massive windmills in the White House to take advantage of the intense wind...
Politics
George Floyd Celebrates 300 Days of Sobriety
MINNEAPOLIS, MN—George Floyd, Patron Saint in the Church of Woke, celebrates 300 consecutive drug-free days today. Mr. Floyd famously quit...
Biden blames fall on wind from Putin blowing him a kiss from Russia
WASHINGTON, DC—President Joe Biden blamed his fall while climbing Air Force One's stairs on Russian President Vladimir Putin blowing him...
White House staff confused about who’s still peeing on the floors after Biden’s dogs were removed
WASHINGTON, DC—White House cleaning staff are flummoxed about who is still peeing all over the floors of the Oval Office...
Biden tells migrants ‘don’t come over’ while he hands out gift bags at the border
BIG BEND, TX–President Joe Biden said in an exclusive interview with Genesius Times's George Snuffalufagus on Tuesday that his message...
Biden makes Dr. Rachel Levine all-time Miss America
WASHINGTON, DC—President Joe Biden has named transgender HHS Assistant Secretary Dr. Rachel Levine the all-time Miss America winner, making it...
BREAKING: Concentration camps are good now
WASHINGTON, DC—A common refrain among democrats during the Trump administration was that the government’s migrant facilities were literal ‘concentration camps’,...
Biden to give his first press conference in the year 4032, shortly after it’s okay to stop wearing masks
WASHINGTON, DC—Media reports confirmed today that President Biden is set to have his first press conference in the year 4032,...
Cuomo promises to harass at least 50% transwomen from now on
ALBANY, NY--New York Governor Andrew Cuomo has agreed to a compromise with the #metoo movement to save his job. He...
Get a lobotomy and other ways you can celebrate the 1st anniversary of ’15 Days to Flatten the Curve’
US—It's been one whole year since our health experts told us we would only need to lockdown society and ruin...
