Biden vows to make SCOTUS more diverse by picking first human turd to replace Justice Breyer
WASHINGTON, DC—Following the announcement that Supreme Court Justice Stephen Breyer is stepping down, President* Joe Biden promised to make the...
Politics
Biden declares ‘All borders should be protected except for ours’
WASHINGTON, DC—At a press conference on the Ukraine crisis, President* Biden declared that "All borders should be protected except for...
Russia amasses troops at Ukraine border to spell ‘Let’s Go Brandon!’
WASHINGTON, DC—Pentagon officials have released of aerial photos of Russian tanks, trucks and equipment amassing on the Ukraine border positioned...
POLL: What color should Anthony Fauci’s prison jumpsuit be?
We at Genesius Times want to make sure Dr. Fauci looks great while he's in jail for mass murder, so...
Truckers identify as illegal immigrants to sidestep Biden vaccine mandate
BALLSCOLD, MN—Canadian and Mexican truckers entering the US through their respective borders are now identifying as illegal immigrants to sidestep...
Biden taps Chelsea Clinton in top admin role
WASHINGTON, DC—Chelsea Clinton is moving up in the world. Not only is she the first openly trans daughter of a...
Newsom tackles LA train looting crisis by making cute little BLM sculpture from leftover trash
LOS ANGELES—California Governor Gavin Newsom turned lemons into lemonade today by creating a fun little "Black Lives Matter" sculpture out...
President Biden promises to solve all the problems caused by whoever is president
WASHINGTON, D.C.-- President Joe Biden promised to solve all the problems caused by whoever's president, marking the first year of...
Democrats to use filibuster to keep Republicans from blocking Democrats from killing the filibuster
WASHINGTON, DC—In a clever move, Senate Democrats are planning to use the filibuster to keep Republicans from blocking the Democrats...
BREAKING: AOC Barely Survives Murder Attempt by Maskless Neil Gorsuch
WASHINGTON, DC—Supreme Court Justice Neil Gorsuch remains at large after a blatant attempt to assassinate Congresswoman and January 6 hero,...
