Minneapolis PD to start arresting random white people in reparations for George Floyd murder
MINNEAPOLIS—As part of the Derek Chauvin conviction for murdering George Floyd, the Minneapolis Police Department has been ordered to start...
Politics
Californian arrested for expressing wrong political opinion
LOS ANGELES, CA—The Los Angeles Police Department arrested local LA resident Max Summers earlier today for expressing the wrong political...
FBI is seeking information related to the insurrectionist pictured here
The FBI is seeking information that will assist in identifying the person pictured above who is actively instigating violence across...
BREAKING: Fox News projects Hunter Biden to win the Pulitzer for stupid memoir
DOOSHE, DE--Hunter Biden's heavily-promoted sex- and drug-filled memoir "Beautiful Things" has tanked in its first week on bookshelves, selling only...
Nadler: ‘We need to add 5,000 seats to SCOTUS to preserve our norms of completely disregarding the Constitution’
WASHINGTON, DC—Rep. Jerry Nadler (D-NY), Chairman of the House Judiciary Committee, announced today at a press conference that Democrats introduced...
The Genesius Times Official BLM Protesting How-to Guide
As last year's Nike's go out of style, it's time to replace them with riot protest season upon us. Genesius...
Mayor reminds citizens to wear BLM gear when burning city so the FBI won’t investigate
PORTLAND, OR—City officials urged that rioters proudly display their Black Lives Matter gear while burning the city down in protest...
Ben and Jerry’s launches ‘Be Less Vanilla’ ice cream with arsenic to fight white supremacy
(FOX NEWS)—Ben and Jerry’s will begin including the deadly toxin arsenic in their "Be Less Vanilla" ice cream to fight...
Biden announces universal castration in order to stop sexual assault and regulate ‘ghost penises’
WASHINGTON, DC—President *Joe Biden announced major steps to address sexual assault today, using the executive authority to write laws. Biden announced six...
AOC proposes infrastructure bill where the nation’s infrastructure is destroyed and rebuilt again
NEW YORK—Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez offered her own infrastructure bill earlier today. The bill would require the government to completely destroy...
