BREAKING: Bondi Promises to Make Up for Not Arresting Epstein Clients by Not Arresting Anyone Involved in Russiagate
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Attorney General Pam Bondi announced today that she will make up for not arresting any of the...
Politics
EXCLUSIVE: Interview with Jerry Mander, the Ingenious Inventor of Gerrymandering
In a dusty, map-cluttered shack reeking of hubris and stale whiskey, Genesius Times nabbed an exclusive with Jerry Mander, the...
BREAKING: House Republicans Narrowly Avoid Doing Anything Before Recess
Washington, D.C. — In a close call that briefly threatened to interrupt a carefully scheduled recess, House Republicans narrowly avoided...
BREAKING: Bondi Promises to Make Up for Not Releasing Epstein Files by Not Releasing Obama Files
Washington, D.C. — U.S. Attorney General Pam Bondi announced Monday that she plans to make amends for her failure to...
Trump Proposes Renaming NFL Commanders Back to “Redskins,” Citing Offense to Commanders-in-Chief
Washington, D.C. — President Donald J. Trump announced Tuesday that he believes the Washington Commanders NFL team should revert to...
Democrats starting to think it was a bad idea to arrest and try to kill Trump
WASHINGTON, DC—Democrats, including Rep. Adam Schiff, are reportedly sweating bullets over their years-long quest to prosecute and politically annihilate former...
BREAKING: Obama says he didn’t commit treason in Russiagate because he’s ‘not even an American citizen’
Former US President Barack Obama has responded to charges of treason by assuring everyone that he was never an American...
‘Fetuses are parasites,’ says 34-year-old living in parents’ basement
US—Unemployed Herman Schock, who currently resides in the basement of his parents' house in a suburb of Kansas City, Missouri,...
BREAKING: Trump replaces White House Press Secretary with literal gaslight to address Epstein Files
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a move that has left political analysts and fire marshals equally baffled, former President Donald Trump...
BREAKING: Starmer lowers voting age in UK to ensure everyone in the Tide Pod Challenge Generation can vote
UK—In a bold move to secure the youth vote and cement his legacy as the Prime Minister of Progress, Keir...
