BREAKING: France eager to get into Ukraine-Russia war so that they can surrender to someone soon
PARIS—France has announced that it is eager to join the ongoing conflict between Ukraine and Russia, expressing a fervent desire...
Politics
MSNBC fires Joy Reid because she didn’t call people racist hard enough
In a shocking twist that absolutely no one saw coming (except maybe the internet), Joy Reid, former MSNBC host and...
BREAKING: Anti-war Democrats furious at Trump for attempting to end two wars
WASHINGTON, D.C.—Anti-war Democrats including Senator Bernie Sanders are furious that President Trump wants to end two wars. The unexpected peace...
If you don’t want your plane to explode and flip over on landing, you may be a sexist racist bigot
It's 2025, and we're still grappling with what it means to be 'woke' on a global scale, but nowhere is...
German authorities arrest man for making false claim online that there is no free speech in Germany
BERLIN, GERMANY - German authorities have arrested a local man, Hans Schmidt, for the audacious act of stating online that...
Democrats insist century-old Social Security recipients are real, and they all voted for Biden
Washington, D.C. - In what can only be described as the most unexpected audit in history, Elon Musk's newly established...
SUPRRISE: Trump unveils his face on Mount Rushmore for Presidents’ Day
KEYSTONE, South Dakota – In a move that has left historians, geologists, and just about everyone else in utter disbelief,...
BREAKING: Mitch McConnell blinks twice to vote ‘No’ on Tulsi Gabbard
WASHINGTON, D.C. – In a dramatic moment that left the Senate chamber in stunned silence—or perhaps just mild confusion—Senate Minority...
AOC: ‘USAID money laundering protects us from all the germs on money’
Listen, I’ve been saying it for years: Money is disgusting. Like, scientifically, microbially, tuna-smelling disgusting. A single dollar bill can...
Schumer demands a thorough probe of Elon Musk’s Harry Bōlz for any possible privacy violations
Washington, D.C. – In a stunning turn of events, Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer (D-NY) has called for an immediate...
