‘I have never but once prayed to God: O Lord, make my enemies ridiculous. And He granted it.’
I have some great quotes but this one is probably the best! "I have never made but one prayer to...
Religion
BREAKING: Biden declares Branch Covidians official state religion; will persecute non-believers
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Joe Biden, in conjunction with the future President* Kamala Harris, has declared that Fauciism is the new state...
Iran scuttles navy ship Kharg after learning it was gay
The Muslim dictatorship formally known as Persia is still supporting proxy wars around the world, and persecuting Christians, for which...
BREAKING: G-D comes out as gender neutral, pronouns are they/them
HEAVEN—Heavenly sources confirmed today that G-D has come out as gender neutral, and Their preferred pronouns are They/Them. They Themselves...
Here are 7 ways to end the Israeli-Palestinian conflict
The Israeli-Palestinian conflict is as old as American pie. OK, maybe not that old, but it sure seems that way....
BREAKING: Hamas hires Ilhan Omar as new spokesman
GAZA—Hamas announced today that it’s hiring Rep. Ilhan Omar (D-Palestine) as its new spokesman. She’ll be taking office sometime next...
BREAKING: Mostly peaceful Hamas fires mostly peaceful rockets into Israel
(CNN) ISRAEL—The mostly peaceful terrorist organization Hamas has fired a number of mostly peaceful rockets toward Jerusalem today, setting off...
Rabbis confirm wearing three masks will guarantee you a seat in the Garden of Eden
WORLD—Rabbis from around the world have signed onto a letter stating that wearing three masks will guarantee you a seat...
BREAKING: Pope Francis names George Floyd patron saint of fentanyl
THE VATICAN—Pope Francis announced today that following the conviction of Derek Chauvin, George Floyd was a martyr of social justice...
Jordan Peterson turns 5 copies of ’12 Rules for Life’ into 5,000
TORONTO- Upon returning to campus following a lengthy sabbatical, University of Toronto Professor Jordan Peterson was greeted by 5,000 fans...
