BREAKING: Pope Francis ousts bishop for being ‘too Catholic’
VATICAN CITY—In a shocking turn of events at the Vatican, Pope Francis, known for his progressive stances and inclusive approach,...
World
AOC: If communism doesn’t work, how come Xi Jinping solved San Francisco’s homeless epidemic and poop all over the place just by visiting?
Hello fellow kids, gather 'round for a hot take that's fresher than last night's microwave pizza. So, like, if communism...
NYC residents beg Xi Jinping to visit so the government would fix their homeless problem too
In an unexpected twist of municipal envy, New York City residents are pleading with Chinese President Xi Jinping to sprinkle...
Biden eases fears of nuclear war by posting ‘Nuke Free Zones’ signs around the country
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Joe Biden has allayed all fears of global thermonuclear war by posting "Nuke Free Zone" signs all over...
Biden to replace all statues of white people with statues of George Floyd robbing pregnant woman
US—President* Biden signed an executive order earlier today instructing all municipalities to replace their racist statues of white people with...
BREAKING: AOC introduces bill outlawing mass shootings
Following a string of mass shootings, Rep Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has had enough. "Welp, we were so stupid for so long...
BREAKING: Trump opens new luxurious Palestinian Underground Bunker Hotel & Casino to promote world peace
West Bank, Middle East - In a surprising twist, former U.S. President Donald Trump has unveiled his most ambitious venture...
BREAKING: East Palestine, OH changes name to Palestine to get Biden to visit
EAST PALESTINE, OH—In a truly audacious move that has left the nation both bewildered and amused, the tiny town of...
BREAKING: Biden includes Hamas terrorists in impressive 336,000 new jobs report
WASHINGTON, DC—In a truly baffling turn of events, President* Biden's administration has managed to find a silver lining in the...
