If you don’t want your children stabbed, you’re probably a far-right extremist
I don't know who needs to hear this but if you don't want your kiddos gettin' poked with sharp stuff,...
World
BREAKING: Dems and Reps come together to ensure Americans will always have catastrophic debt
WASHINGTON - In an era of extreme polarization, many were happy to hear that Democrats and Republicans have finally come...
Newsom gives Xi and Biden authentic San Fran experience during APEC, letting them poop on the sidewalk with homeless drug addicts
SAN FRANCISCO—Governor Gavin Newsom, worried that Chinese President Xi Jinping and U.S. President Joe Biden wouldn't get a taste of...
BREAKING: Pope Francis ousts bishop for being ‘too Catholic’
VATICAN CITY—In a shocking turn of events at the Vatican, Pope Francis, known for his progressive stances and inclusive approach,...
AOC: If communism doesn’t work, how come Xi Jinping solved San Francisco’s homeless epidemic and poop all over the place just by visiting?
Hello fellow kids, gather 'round for a hot take that's fresher than last night's microwave pizza. So, like, if communism...
NYC residents beg Xi Jinping to visit so the government would fix their homeless problem too
In an unexpected twist of municipal envy, New York City residents are pleading with Chinese President Xi Jinping to sprinkle...
Biden eases fears of nuclear war by posting ‘Nuke Free Zones’ signs around the country
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Joe Biden has allayed all fears of global thermonuclear war by posting "Nuke Free Zone" signs all over...
Biden to replace all statues of white people with statues of George Floyd robbing pregnant woman
US—President* Biden signed an executive order earlier today instructing all municipalities to replace their racist statues of white people with...
BREAKING: AOC introduces bill outlawing mass shootings
Following a string of mass shootings, Rep Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has had enough. "Welp, we were so stupid for so long...
