Biden promises to help those hit by Hawaiian wildfires by giving another $10 billion to Ukraine
WASHINGTON, DC—In a stunning display of global diplomacy and financial allocation, President* Biden has unveiled a groundbreaking plan to address...
World
New York changes motto to ‘state of emergency’ to get Biden’s attention about immigration crisis
In a desperate bid to capture President* Biden's attention and secure federal aid for the immigration crisis, the state of...
Intelligence Officials say Trump likely colluded with Russia to make Joe Biden accept millions of dollars in bribe money
In a stunning revelation that has left political analysts scratching their heads, a group of unnamed "intelligence officials" has come...
Small businesses are changing their name to ‘Ukraine’ so that Biden will forget to audit them
US—In a great small business hack, companies are changing their name to "Ukraine" so the new Biden IRS will forget...
BREAKING: No one wants to talk to Budget Fidel at the NATO cocktail party
Vilnius, Lithuania—It seems that nobody wanted to engage in conversation with the infamous "Budget Fidel" aka the "Welfare Warmonger" aka...
BREAKING: Ukraine becomes fascist dictatorship in order to save democracy
In a stunning turn of events, Ukraine has taken an unexpected approach to preserve democracy: by transforming itself into a...
BREAKING: CIA asks for $6 billion refund for its failed Russian coup
WASHINGTON, DC—The Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) has reportedly requested a refund for its recent failed Russian coup attempt, which ended...
AOC: ‘I was murdered in the failed Russian coup attempt’
US—Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, commonly known as AOC, has come forward with a stunning revelation: she was killed during the failed...
After hearing of Titanic sub implosion, Biden promises to send $100B more to Ukraine
In a stunning display of his commitment to international affairs, President* Joe Biden has reportedly pledged to send an additional...
BREAKING: Russian President Putin has opposition leader arrested in Soviet-style political move
MOSCOW—Russian President Vladimir Putin has had the leader of the opposition party arrested in a Soviet-style totalitarian political move. Leaders...
