BREAKING: Kevin McCarthy agrees to step aside and let Volodymyr Zelensky become Speaker of the House
After six stalemate votes, Democrats and Republicans came together to to select the great American Volodymyr Zelensky to be Speaker...
World
BREAKING: All sex trafficking charges against Andrew Tate dropped after he says he was a client of Ghislaine Maxwell and Jeffrey Epstein
BUCHAREST—All sex trafficking charges against former MMA fighter and TikTok influencer Andrew Tate and his brother have been dropped after...
Brave Ukrainian soldier jumps on pile of Russian fentanyl to save fellow soldiers
A brave unknown soldier (pictured above) jumped on a pile of Russian fentanyl to save his fellow soldiers. He will...
BREAKING: El Paso asks to join Egypt to qualify for some of $410M Mid East border security budget
US—The Texas border town of El Paso has asked to join the African country of Egypt in order to quality...
BREAKING: Biden reminds Zelensky that ‘Nothing is free, kid’ during photo op
WASHINGTON, DC—US President* Joe Biden reminded Ukraine President* Volodymyr Zelensky that "Nothing is free, kid," during a photo op at...
Pelosi: ‘I gave $110B to Ukraine and all I got was this lousy flag!’
WASHINGTON, DC—Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi is mad as hell after Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky gave her a Ukrainian...
BREAKING: Omnibus spending bill includes $74 million green T-shirt budget for Zelensky
US—Congress is poised to pass an historic omnibus spending bill with $1.7 Trillion in new debt. While people like Senator...
BREAKING: New York Times supports Nazis with Swastika crossword on first day of Chanukah
NEW YORK—The New York Times have officially come out in support of the National Socialist Nazi Party with a Swastika...
BREAKING: France surrenders World Cup final
DOHA, QATAR—Argentina won the 2022 World Cup final after France surrendered. "We won the last World Cup and it just...
BREAKING: Santa Claus has died unexpectedly following Fauci visit
NORTH POLE—The world is reeling from news that Santa Claus has died suddenly and unexpectedly, shocking experts who were sure...
