Shakira to sacrifice two goats in annual Illuminati halftime show
MIAMI—The annual Illuminati initiation ritual, also known as the Super Bowl half time show, will feature an unprecedented number of...
World
Observers astonished UK survives 24 hours apart from EU
International observers are astonished that the United Kingdom hasn't disintegrated into a chaotic primordial cesspool of racists and xenophobes after...
AOC ensures migrants receive fresh water and nutritious bat soup upon entering US
Disgusted by the conditions of undocumented migrants entering the country, US Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) is working to ensure travelers...
AOC recommends people drink Dos Equis to avoid contracting coronavirus
Since the deadly coronavirus has been ravaging parts of China and making its way to the United States, US Representative...
BREAKING: Super Bowl LIV cancelled due to devastating climate change predictions that haven’t come true
Dire climate change predictions have put the entirety of South Florida under water and while these predictions haven't come close...
Modelo, the maker of Corona denies initiating the spread of Coronavirus
Grupo Modelo, the company that manufactures Corona and Corona Light, is in a fight for its very existence today. Genesius...
Democrats to impeach Trump for Democrats withholding Puerto Rican disaster aid
With the attempt to impeach Trump by claiming he is unfit, using the Russian Steele Dossier, and other attempts not...
Pentagon replaces go-to torture waterboarding with endless video of Adam Schiff speeches
The Pentagon has replaced their former go-to torture method, waterboarding, with endless video recordings of Representative Adam Schiff speeches. The...
At Davos, Greta Thunberg demands world leaders give her back her ‘precious’
Swedish teen climate activist Greta Thunberg delighted the World Economic Forum in Davos, Switzerland by scolding them for doing nothing...
Democrats align with with Iraqi Baath party in last ditch effort against Trump
The Iraqi Baath Party has just announced the Democrat Party of America along with the 'failing New York Times' will...
