BREAKING: Trump sold influence to Ukraine through crack-addict son
WASHINGTON, DC—US Representative Adam Schiff (D-CA) and other democrats have announced that they have evidence that President Trump sold influence...
World
Gov Newsom limits gatherings to 3 families if a midget is present and no laughing
SACRAMENTO—Governor Gavin Newsom has decreed a new set of social distancing guidelines from on high allowing the peasant classes to...
Biden says he didn’t know about Burisma because he doesn’t ‘know what’s going on about anything’
WASHINGTON DC—Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden claims that he didn't know about what went on between his son Hunter Biden...
Angry celebrities threaten to stay in America if Trump is reelected
US—Many angry celebrities, worried about the possibility of another four years of Donald Trump, have pulled out all the stops...
LeBron James sets all-time NBA record for virtue signaling
LOS ANGELES--LeBron “King” James set a new NBA record last night, specifically a quadruple double. You read that right, in...
China surprised to learn NY and CA kids have been better indoctrinated than their kids
The CCP has a lot to celebrate these days. First they introduced COVID-19 to the world and produced not only...
Sweet Meteor O’Death surges in the polls after dismal presidential debate
CLEVELAND—The inanimate celestial body Sweet Meteor O'Death, which will be passing by Earth shortly before the US presidential election surged...
China pinky-promises to lower carbon emissions by 2069
BEIJING—Xi Jinping and all of his advisors have pinky-promised to lower their country’s emissions by the year 2069. The promise...
Biden and Harris form mariachi band to woo Latino voters
After the holding the biggest hispanic concert in history by playing Despacito on his cellphone, according to hispanic political expert...
Omar: ‘Trump’s peace deal is racist against terrorists’
MINNEAPOLIS—Not everyone is happy about Trump's advancement of peace relations between Israel and her Arab neighbors. US Representative Ilhan Omar...
