Talarico Polling Near 100 Percent Among Texas Lizard People 
Biblical Scholars Now Conclude Eve Answered “Not to My Knowledge” When Asked About the Fruit 
Ilhan Omar Comes Out of Hiding for an Appearance on Jerry Springer 
AOC: ‘These poor pumpkins have been drained of their spice by illegal poachers; this needs to stop!’ 
SURPRISE: Obama Defends Foreign-Born Politician Who Ran Under Another Name After Marriage Questions 
POLL: How should Disney rename irredeemably racist Snow White?
It's clear the Disney's Snow White franchise is irredeemably racist and must be completely overhauled. What should we demand Disney...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
BREAKING: G-D Will Destroy Portland If He Can’t Find Ten Righteous People In The City
HEAVEN—Heavenly sources confirmed that the city of Portland is in mortal danger. If G-D cannot find ten righteous people in...
Disney announces their newest princess: Colin Kaepernick
ALTA VISTA, FL—Disney has announced their newest princess, Colin Kaepernick, who will star in a new film that will “showcase...
Disney to Reimagine Classic as ‘Snow Brown and the Seven They/Thems’
In a move that has been called “brave” and “stunning”, Disney is putting a new twist on the studio’s first...
Secret Service Says They May Never Know Who Assassinated Abraham Lincoln
WASHINGTON, DC—The Secret Service closed another chapter today when it solved the mystery of the bottle of diet coke that...
US cheers Hollywood writers’ strike, excited for break from nonstop degenerate propaganda
In a surprising turn of events, the Hollywood writers have gone on strike, leaving the United States ecstatic about the...
BREAKING: Joe Biden Has Been Using Common Core This Entire Time To Calculate How Many Grandchildren He Has
Joe Biden talks about his six grandchildren very often and how much he loves each one of them. The only...
BREAKING: No one wants to talk to Budget Fidel at the NATO cocktail party
Vilnius, Lithuania—It seems that nobody wanted to engage in conversation with the infamous "Budget Fidel" aka the "Welfare Warmonger" aka...
8 Famous Quotes From President Biden
President Joseph R. Biden has this uncanny ability as a master orator to communicate with the public in ways other...
Mystery Solved: Coke Found In White House Turns Out To Just Be A Bottle Of Diet Coke
Subsequent testing confirmed that coke discovered by the Secret Service at the White House was actually a bottle of diet...
