McConnell Makes First Senate Appearance Since June 
Climate Scientists Pray to Climate Goddess Greta to Bring Hurricanes And Fulfill Al Gore’s Prophecy 
Female Athletes Outraged That Sydney Sweeney Is Sexualizing Sports 
Salem, Massachusetts To Bring Back Witch Trials Following Clancy Trial Debacle 
Trump Promises to Give You Some of Your Money if GOP Wins 
Biden unveils new pride flag to be flown at all US embassies
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Biden unveiled a new Pride flag that will be flown at all US embassies around the country and...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
BREAKING: Biden refuses to eat his Jell-O until debt ceiling is raised
WASINGTON, DC – In an effort to break the impasse surrounding debt ceiling negotiations, President Biden today announced a hunger...
Rise in Headaches Among Investors at New York Stock Exchange Due to Shaking Their Heads Up & Down at Stock Prices All Day
NEW YORK—Doctors around the state of New York have seen an uptick in patient visits recently who’ve been complaining about...
Chicago declares itself a sanctuary city for blacks after NAACP warns Florida is no longer safe for them
In a surprising move, the city of Chicago has officially declared itself a sanctuary city for blacks. This decision comes...
DeSantis bans rainbows from Florida after reports they were making people gay
TALLAHASSEE, FLORIDA—Governor Ron DeSantis has banned rain from the state of Florida after reports that was making people gay. The measure,...
BREAKING: FBI forgets to take their logo off van before false flag White House attack
In a stunning display of oversight, the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) recently found itself in an embarrassing predicament when...
Report: Germans Very Impressed With FBI’s Gestapo Tactics
GERMANY—According to reports, many Germans are impressed with the FBI’s Gestapo tactics. The reports have been published amid the release...
State Department Issues Travel Advisory for Florida Due to Increasing Liberty and Freedom
WASHINGTON, DC— The U.S. State Department has issued a series of travel warnings to Americans looking to visit Florida this...
Biden executive order punishes parents who don’t chop off the arms of kids who identify as T-Rex
WASHINGTON, DC–President* Joe Biden signed legislation yesterday that criminalizes parents who don't chop off the arms of their children who...
You’re a Nazi if you don’t support mutilating children
I don't know who needs to hear this but the Texas legislature just passed a law that bans people from...
