Hey RFK Jr., Hands Off! Why Poison in Our Food Is Actually Good 
Millions of new tariff experts unsure how to pay off their student loan debt 
Climate activists protest Elon Musk by sending ‘NO DOGE’ smoke signals up from burning Tesla batteries 
AOC: Only Illegal Immigrants Should Get Due Process Because they Broke the Law to be Here So Clearly They Really Want It 
BREAKING: Katy Perry declares herself pope after reading the Bible for 11 minutes 
Biden announces new mandate requiring workers to show proof of support for Ukraine to keep job
WASHINGTON, DC—The Biden administration ordered U.S. companies today to ensure their employees are fully supporting Ukraine by Jan. 4 or...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
Biden Pentagon hires Jussie Smollett to fake a Russian attack on US
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Joe Biden has been looking for an excuse to go to war with Russia since he took office....
BREAKING: Jussie Smollett claims white supremacists killed him in jail last night
CHICAGO—Actor Jussie Smollett, who was sentenced to months in prison for faking a hate crime yesterday, now claims that members...
Buttigieg recommends a ‘horse and buggy’ for those who can’t afford gas right now
WASHINGTON, DC—Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg said that those unable to pay the high gas prices caused by inflation and the...
Tina and Amy award Genesius Times with 7 Falsies at the 4th Annual Fake News Awards
NEW YORK—Tina Fey and Amy Poehler hosted the 4th annual Fake News Awards at the Hyatt Grand Central, last night...
US ‘very worried’ Russia may seize US bioweapons labs in Ukraine that don’t exist
WASHINGTON, DC—Government officials are "very worried" that Russia may seize US bioweapons labs in Ukraine that don't exist. "Do we...
Biden bans buying oil from Russia; mandates buying Russian oil from China marked up 10%
WASHINGTON, DC—US President* Joe Biden announced Tuesday the U.S. will ban all oil imports from Russia and require imports of...
Buttigieg wears fabulous Marie Antoinette dress in energy event: ‘Let them drive electric’
WASHINGTON, DC—Look out red carpet! US Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg wore a fabulous dress owned by the one and only...
Miss Russia leads Ukrainian prisoners of war in festive parade to concentration camp
DONETSK, UKRAINE—In one of the few festive occasions of war, Miss Russia Helga Lavrov marched Ukrainian POW’s through Donetsk, Ukraine...
Putin opens Uyghur concentration camp to make everyone like him again
MOSCOW—After receiving widespread condemnation for his invasion of Ukraine, Russian President Vladimir Putin has opened up Russia's very own Uyghur...
