AOC demands Black Friday be renamed ‘Friday of Color’ 
Donald Trump picks Elizabeth Warren to head Bureau of Indian Affairs 
Outgoing Transportation Sec. Pete Buttigieg taps P. Diddy for mission to destroy Uranus 
BREAKING: Biden Sneaks in Pardon for Hunter During Annual Turkey Pardon Ceremony 
Farewell, X: Why I’m Leaving Over Their Refusal to Censor Me 
Schwarzenegger stars in new film as cyborg sent back to kill off humanity with mass vaccination program
HOLLYWOOD—Former Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger is back on the big screen this summer, staring in a new Terminator film called The...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
Gen Z now demanding participation trophies for not participating
Washington, D.C. is on the verge of becoming the first major U.S. city to give Gen Z a participation trophy...
Biden appoints Cuomo Gender Equality Czar citing his experience with ‘lots of women’
WASHINGTON, DC—Just minutes after former New York Governor Andrew Cuomo resigned over accusations of sexual harassment, US President* Joe Biden...
Local leftist swaps ‘I punch Nazis’ bumper sticker with ‘Show me your papers!’ sticker
US—A local leftist, Wankie McJohnson, has finally switched his ‘I Punch Nazi's’ bumper sticker to one that says ‘Show me...
SCARY: These are the lungs of an unvaccinated person with COVID
This is scary people. Just look at this picture to see what the lungs of an unvaccinated person. I don't...
CNN: All 600 relatives at Obama birthday bash wore invisible face masks
MARTHA'S VINEYARD--Former President Barack Obama assured the public that all 600 of his close family and friends wore invisible face...
New Dr. Sucher: ‘If You’re Born with a Dick, You ARE NOT a Chick’
ABERDEEN, WA—It's hard to imagine after so many Dr. Seuss books being banned for bigotry that this new edition will...
BREAKING: California decriminalizes rapes lasting under 1 minute
SACRAMENTO, CA—Citing justice based on California's decriminalization of theft under $1000, Governor Gavin Newsom has unilaterally decriminalized rapes lasting less...
BREAKING: Biden rolls out new neck seatbelt mandate
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Joe Biden announced today a new national mandate for neck seatbelts in all cars for all ages. The...
Apple shuts down child abuse scan project after only finding pictures of Joe Biden
CUPERTINO, CA—Electronics behemoth Apple has announced it is shutting down a brand new program to scan US phones for child...
