Nick Saban urges Senate to save college football by returning to paying players under the table 
Trump Confirms Reflecting Pool Filled With 100% Ethically-Sourced Liberal Tears 
BREAKING: Trump’s Refurbished Reflecting Pool Mysteriously Reflects Only His Face 
BREAKING: Becerra Rockets to Top of California Gubernatorial Polls After Debuting Nazi Tattoo 
California Vows To Keep Counting Votes Until Pratt & Hilton Are Eliminated 
BREAKING: Twitter suspends the CDC for contradicting the CDC
TWATVILLE, CA—Social media behemoth Twitter has been banned the Centers for Disease Control and Propagation (CDC) indefinitely from its platform...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
Historians remove Nicolaus Copernicus for denying scientific consensus
US—Nicolaus Copernicus was a Renaissance polymath, active as a mathematician, astronomer, and Catholic canon, whose statements frequently contradict the scientific consensus on the Earth...
BREAKING: FBI releases evidence that Trump sold nuclear codes
WASHINGTON, DC--The FBI has released some of the evidence that former President Donald Trump sold nuclear codes to Vladimir Putin...
BREAKING: Dick Cheney gives personal guarantee that Trump is stockpiling weapons of mass destruction at Mar-a-Lago
WASHINGTON, DC—Former Vice President Dick Cheney has given his personal guarantee that former President Donal Trump is storing weapons of...
Hunter joins President Biden on family beach trip to Epstein Island following FBI raid of Trump
(CNN) WASHINGTON, DC—Austere first son Hunter Biden joined his father on Air Force One Wednesday for a flight to a...
HOT: FBI release stunning new fall fashion line based on Melania Trump’s wardrobe
WASHINGTON, DC—The front rows, as usual, made the headlines at the fall 2022 runway shows. Kim Kardashian wowed at Prada and Balenciaga,...
Dolphins wide receiver Hubris Jackson suspended for 2 preseason games for murdering his ex-wife
MIAMI—Dolphins wide receiver Hubris Jackson was suspended for 2 preseason games for murdering his ex-wife and two other people in...
Trump to FBI: ‘I kept all the secret files on Hunter’s laptop’
WASHINGTON, DC—Following the unprecedented raid by the FBI on President Donald Trump's Mar-a-Lago estate in which the FBI has said...
BREAKING: FBI raids several pedophile clients of sex trafficker Jeffrey Epstein
US—The FBI has raided all of the pedophile clients of sex trafficker Jeffrey Epstein in dozens of early morning investigations,...
BREAKING: Congress votes to increase inflation 25% in order to decrease inflation 1%
WASHINGTON, DC—The Senate on Sunday voted to pass H.R. 5376, otherwise known as the "Inflation Reduction Act", 51-50 which will increase inflation...