Hunter Biden claims new ‘masterpieces’ lost in wildfire were totally worth $200 million 
AOC: ‘If global warming is a hoax, why is it 90° in Australia now in the middle of WINTER?!’ 
BREAKING: Pete Hegseth storms Senate Armed Forces Hearing; claims Capitol for Jesus Christ 
BREAKING: Pete Hegseth opens senate confirmation hearing by calling Adam Schiff ‘so ugly even Epstein wouldn’t bring him to his island’ 
BREAKING: In lieu of aid, Biden reassures California wildfire victims he will be sending $100 billion to Ukraine in their name 
Iranian government hires Kerry as new propaganda minister
TEHRAN, IRAN—Iranian President Hassan Rouhani announced today via Twitter that the Iranian government has hired John Kerry as its new...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
CDC says you can now peak your head out from your self-imposed prison once a day
NEW YORK (AP) — The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) said Tuesday that you can finally peak your...
7 ways to avoid getting shot by police
Have you ever thought about the possibility of getting shot by the police? Like ever? Well, we want to help...
Bill Gates wins Oscar for best villain in real life
HOLLYWOOD—The 93rd Academy Awards broke a lot of new ground this year including awards for best real-life villain, which went...
BREAKING: NBA finally ends discrimination based on height
NEW YORK—The National Basketball Association (NBA) has ended its longstanding discriminatory policy on height after many allegations of teams excluding...
NBA replaces basketball with ‘ball of knives’ in honor of Ma’Khia Bryant
LOS ANGELES—Communist China puppet activist and occasional basketball star LeBron James has created a new way in standing in solidarity...
Kerry proposes tax on breathing to fight climate change
WASHINGTON, DC—John Kerry, the President Biden’s Envoy for Climate, suggested in an interview today that the federal government should impose...
Minneapolis PD to start arresting random white people in reparations for George Floyd murder
MINNEAPOLIS—As part of the Derek Chauvin conviction for murdering George Floyd, the Minneapolis Police Department has been ordered to start...
Californian arrested for expressing wrong political opinion
LOS ANGELES, CA—The Los Angeles Police Department arrested local LA resident Max Summers earlier today for expressing the wrong political...
BREAKING: Thin Blue Line supporters loot Walmart after Derek Chauvin conviction
MINNEAPOLIS–Racist supporters Thin Blue Line supporters descended on a local Walmart to loot, pillage, and "burn the motherf****r down" in protest...
