Someone from the “Hate Has No Home Here” crowd just tried to kill another person again 
BREAKING: People who have been calling for violence targeting Trump for 10 years ‘shocked’ of all the violence targeting Trump 
Manhattan DA Alvin Bragg Files Charges Against Trump for Surviving Another Assassination Attempt 
US facing ‘massive shortage’ of conspiracy theories as all of them have come true 
Stephen Colbert becomes neo-Nazi to garner funds from Southern Poverty Law Center 
BREAKING: Ghost of Colin Powell says Russia is hiding Iraq’s weapons of mass destruction in Ukraine
WASHINGTON, DC—In an effort to increase generate support for a war against Russia, the Biden* administration summoned the ghost of...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
BREAKING: Racist Canadian trucker protests turn violent with burning, looting, and killing
OTTAWA—The Racists in the Canadian trucker protest in Ottawa turned violent today, burning cars and looting stores, according to sources...
Omar offers condolences to friends and family of ISIS leader killed in raid
WASHINGTON, DC—Islamic State (ISIS) leader Abu Ibrahim al-Hashimi al-Qurayshi was killed in an overnight U.S. military raid in Syria, President*...
Bidens welcome dog gifted from President Xi
WASHINGTON, DC—The Bidens introduced the newest resident of The White House: a dog gifted to the First Family by President...
BREAKING: Milli Vanilli announce they are pulling someone else’s music from Spotify
HOLLYWOOD—Following the Joe Rogan controversy, the popular band Milli Vanilli have announced that they are pulling someone else's music from...
POLL: Who should Biden nominate to replace Jeff Zucker as CNN CEO?
The state-run Communist News Network is losing its CEO Jeff Zucker following sex abuse allegations typical for the company. So,...
China reassures world that new virus will be ready in time for the Olympics
BEIJING—The Chinese Olympic committee said today that people shouldn’t worry, they will absolutely have a new virus ready by the...
Justin Trudeau came out of his hole and saw his shadow so will spend another 6 weeks in quarantine
OTTAWA, CANADA—As is the new custom for Groundhog Day, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau poked his head out of the hole...
OPED: Truckers ? aren’t ? workers ? so ? they ? don’t ? have ? rights
I don't know who needs to hear this but truckers—especially the ones protesting the vaccine mandates in Canada—aren't real workers,...
BREAKING: DC NFL team confirms new name: Washington Communists
WASHINGTON, DC—The Washington National Football League team, which has been nameless since getting rid of their racist Redskins nomenclature has...
