Omar Launches New Dating App: Incestry.Com 
Haiti Demands the US Stop Sending Back Haitian Doctors and Engineers That Were Helping the US 
Brazil Supreme Court Rules Leftists May Continue Voting Until They Win 
Talarico Polling Near 100 Percent Among Texas Lizard People 
Biblical Scholars Now Conclude Eve Answered “Not to My Knowledge” When Asked About the Fruit 
FACT CHECK: Bill Gates does NOT want to kill half the world’s population, just 2 billion of them
SEATTLE—Misinformation has run rampant regarding Bill Gates and his depopulation intentions since his TED talk in 2010 when he claimed...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
Burger King releases new gay burger topped with monkeypox or AIDS
Burger King wants its customers to be fully immersed in Pride this year by releasing their new Gay Whoppers, which...
Gender reveal party delayed 3 years while parents decide identity for child
CALICO, CA—A local gender reveal party has been delayed for three years while the parents decide what identity the child...
BREAKING: Russia threatens to nuke East & West coast US; most Americans pretty okay with that
MOSCOW—A member of Russia's Parliament warned the U.S. that President Vladimir Putin could wipe out the East and West Coasts with...
BREAKING: Justin Trudeau’s security to use only NERF guns from now on
OTTAWA—In a bold move, Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has prohibited guns for people protecting him and will instead will...
EXCLUSIVE: Uvalde Chief told cops to ‘stand down’ until they learned shooters ‘preferred pronouns’
UVALDE, TEXAS—Many have wondered why it took so long for Uvalde police to respond to a homocidal maniac at an...
Pelosi calls husband’s DUI a ‘setup’ by Putin
NAPA VALLEY, CALIFORNIA—Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi's husband and designated driver was arrested Sunday for driving under the influence...
Biden: ‘How many false flag shootings do we have to have before you give up your rights?’
UVALDE, TEXAS—President* Joe Biden paid respects to the families of 19 students and two teachers slain during a mass shooting at...
‘You don’t need guns to protect yourself’ says politician being protected by men with guns
WASHINGTON, DC—Several politicians being protected by men with guns including President* Joe Biden have come out in favor of gun...