Ilhan Omar Launches New Dating App: Incestry.Com 
Haiti Demands the US Stop Sending Back Haitian Doctors and Engineers That Were Helping the US 
Brazil Supreme Court Rules Leftists May Continue Voting Until They Win 
Talarico Polling Near 100 Percent Among Texas Lizard People 
Biblical Scholars Now Conclude Eve Answered “Not to My Knowledge” When Asked About the Fruit 
EXCLUSIVE VIDEO: Twitter destroying docs before Elon Musk invasion
Genesius Times have uncovered exclusive video footage of Twitter executives burning documents related to their censorship algorithm before Elon Musk...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
BREAKING: Elon Musk opens salt mine sourced only from liberal tears following Twitter acquisition
AUSTIN—Tesla CEO Elon Musk is venturing into new businesses. He is now selling salt sourced solely from liberal tears following...
BREAKING: CNN+ has information that will lead to the arrest of Hillary Clinton
ATLANTA—CNN's streaming service CNN+ has information that will lead to the arrest and conviction of Hillary Clinton, sources close to...
CNN introduces CNN- where users can pay $99 a month to not see any CNN content
ATLANTA—Following the demise of the streaming service CNN+, CNN is introducing CNN- where users can pay $15 a month to...
Brave BLM activist demands Frisco City Council take a knee while pledging to George Floyd
We need more brave black men like this one who stood up to the Frisco, Texas City Council and demanded...
BREAKING: Walmart ends COVID-era pants mandate following federal ruling
BENTONVILLE, AR--Walmart have lifted COVID-19-related mandates requiring pants in the store for all customers and employees following a federal judge's...
White House: Biden’s hands identify as separate personality dubbed ‘Handsy’
WASHINGTON, DC—Psychologists say, after years of repression, it looks like President Biden has developed split personality disorder. A representative from...
General Mills says Lucky Charms ‘contaminant’ is actually 100% organic Leprechaun feces
MINNEAPOLIS—General Mills, the makers of the ‘Lucky Charms’ cereal, are reassuring their customers that the blame for any contamination of...
DC Mayor to Texas Gov: ‘How dare you send illegals to my city that openly welcomes them!’
WASHINGTON, DC—Mayor Muriel Bowser blasted Texas Governor Greg Abbott for bussing illegal immigrants to the nation's capital. "How dare you...