Mamdani Organizes NYC’s Inaugural Public Stoning of Rape Victim 
WNBA Installs New Mid-Court Pro Wrestling Ring to Help Players Pummel Caitlin Clark 
Trump Stocks Reflecting Pool with Man-Eating Piranhas to Deter Purple-Haired Vandals 
Ewoks have taken over the Obama Presidential Center and have disarmed the shield generator 
Two Imperial AT-ATs Seen Patrolling Around Obama Presidential Center 
Biden awards velvet ropes the Medal of Freedom for saving democracy during Jan 6 insurrection
WASHINGTON DC- Following its brave defense of freedom during history's darkest moment, the January 6 insurrection, Resident Joe Biden awarded...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
BREAKING: Joe Biden has killed Betty White
WASHINGTON, DC—Joe Biden promised a winter of sickness and death and he's starting to put his money where his mouth...
Top Genesius Times Stories from 2021
Despite the censorship by Fascbook and Twatter, a gajillion people delighted in Genesius Times articles in 2021! Here are the...
CDC releases new ‘mood ring’ that tells what COVID variant you have
ATLANTA—The US Centers for Disease Control and Promotion (CDC) are experts at science and all the science-y things. They come...
Biden diverts US border wall funding to Oprah’s ‘Promised Land’ estate
MONTECITO, CA—Oprah Winfrey is feeling a lot safer now that border wall is going up around her ‘Promised Land’ estate....
BREAKING: Ghislaine Maxwell was tragically killed in auto accident tomorrow
NEW YORK--In a shocking coincidence, Ghislaine Maxwell, who just today was convicted of sex trafficking minors was tragically killed in...
‘Matrix’ Producers replace ‘red pill’ with another blue pill from Pfizer
HOLLYWOOD—When the directors of the original Matrix film envisioned the iconic red pill scene, they had no idea that all...
CNN to report on the thousands of people not shot in Chicago over the weekend
(CNN)—We at CNN have a new policy in which, instead of reporting on the number of people shot and killed...
Due to supply chain shortages Chick-fil-A changes name to Cat-fil-A
ATLANTA—Due to supply chain issues across the US, the largest fast casual restaurant chain, Chik-fil-A, is changing its name to...
Kamala Harris says Mayan calendar prophesies she will assume presidency February 02, 2022
WASHINGTON DC—Vice President Kamala Harris says the Mayan calendar has revealed she is to take the presidency of the United...
