It’s Last Chance for Iran Day…Again 
Khan promises to ban knives ‘harder’ after latest London knife attack 
Mamdani Announces Microchip Requirement for Access to City-Owned Grocery Stores 
BREAKING: Arsonist blames climate change for making him start the Spokane fire 
BREAKING: Sen Mitch McConnell has tragically died tomorrow 
Cuomo says he was too busy killing 15,000 seniors to do anything bad like sexually harass someone
ALBANY, NY—Governor Andrew Cuomo has offered a unique defense against the myriad sexual assault allegations that have been raised against...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
Congress passes law requiring all bills to be at least 10,000 pages long
WASHINGTON, DC—Congress passed a law today requiring that all future bills be at least 10,000 pages long. “We want all...
Biden calls up National Guard to protect against the growing threat of Dr. Seuss
WASHINGTON, DC—President Biden has called up the National Guard to protect the entire country against the vicious new threat of...
The Genesius Times Guide to Cancel Culture
We’ve all heard of cancel culture, but what is it and who does it effect? Will you or I be...
Biden gets largest crowd ever at border rally
(CNN) President Joe Biden must be getting really popular. Everyone must love his long list of executive orders and new...
BREAKING: Texas declares each Californian 3/5th of a person
AUSTIN, TX—Texas Gov. Gregg Abbott signed an executive order today declaring Californians in his state three-fifths of a person. “I...
Woman with ‘My Body My Choice’ shirt freaks out about Texas ending mask mandate
AUSTIN—A woman with a “My Body My Choice” shirt has been stationed at the Texas governor's mansion screaming at Governor...
White House demands removal of offensive new Dr. Seuss books
WASHINGTON, DC—White House personnel were infuriated to learn of new offensive Dr. Seuss books to replace the old offensive Dr....
Study finds people have a 475% higher risk of dying from socialism than COVID-19
CAMBRIDGE, MA—Researchers at the National Bureau of Economic Research (NBER) in Cambridge, MA published an exhaustive study conducted over the...
POLL: 86% of Dead Voters Already Regret Voting for Biden
Dominion-elect President Joe Biden's approval rating plummeted among one of Democrat's most reliable voter base, the dead.The survey released Tuesday...
