Mitch McConnell Shatters Personal Record with 25-Hour Blank Stare, Inspired by Cory Booker’s Filibuster 
Cory Booker’s 17-Hour Education Filibuster Ends in Epic April Fools’ Prank: “I Had You All!” 
BREAKING: Pam Bondi releases all Epstein Files, announces arrest of all 366 of Epstein’s clients 
BREAKING: April Fool’s Day cancelled because reality is so ridiculous 
BREAKING: Scientists discover that chickens lay more eggs when you stop killing billions of them for no reason 
Florida man dies from COVID-19 minutes after dying in a car accident
Evidence is beginning to mount that young and healthy people can contract COVID-19 and die from the horrifying disease. Florida...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
BREAKING: Congressional Democrats produce enough hot air to qualify as ventilators
Ventilators. Ventilators. Ventilators. If anyone has not heard that word less than a thousand times over the last several weeks...
Breaking: New Orleans Coronavirus outbreak caused by Popeye’s new fried bat combo
Upping the ante in the Chicken flame wars, Popeye’s released their boldest meal to date. Playing off of the Corona...
Bill Gates donates 10000 Windows 10 ventilators to NYC but patients are getting blue screen of death
Microsoft founder and former CEO Bill Gates is donating 1,000 Windows 10 ventilators to New York City amid the COVID-19...
Hundreds get alcohol poisoning playing the White House COVID-19 Press Brief Drinking Game
Everyone is homebound. Well almost. After taking some walks, binge-watching every Netflix series ever produced since 1950, and buying enough...
BREAKING: Joe ‘Exotic’ Biden surges in polls with new post-quarantine look
Democratic presidential hopeful Joe Biden's campaign has been suffering through weak polling numbers and consistent senility. The New York Times...
Cuomo: ‘We didn’t prepare for an emergency because we didn’t know when we’d have one’
There is a word in the English language that the Boy Scouts have used for years that you won't hear...
Ruth Bader Ginsburg says she can violate COVID-19 quarantine because she’s ‘already dead’
The coronavirus outbreak has forced numerous gyms across the country to close, but Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg's says that she...
STUDY: Women named Karen derive 83% of life satisfaction from telling people to stay home during COVID crisis
WASHINGTON—In a shocking new CDC study, researchers have found a correlation between being named Karen and deriving an inordinate amount...
Modern medicine’s answer to COVID-19: Medieval quarantine
Every single hour new restrictions are being put in place for the sensationalized COVID-19 crisis. The UK has just considered...
