Jaguar introduces new car to match its new ad campaign 
BREAKING: I was raped by whoever Trump selects for one of his cabinet positions 
BREAKING: Elon Musk buys MSNBC to constantly air video of Alex Jones giving Morning Joe and Mika noogies 
CNN: Startled by Loud Noises, President Kennedy Trips and Falls in Limousine 
This Day In Mostly-Peaceful History: President Kennedy Goes Scenic Ride through Dallas 
Fans donate thousands to give Colin Kaepernick his own used helicopter
In a heartwarming tale of generosity following the tragic death of sports superstar Kobe Bryant, fans of have donated nearly...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
Susan Collins, Mitt Romney, and Lisa Murkowski have declared themselves trans-partisan extraterrestrials
In a stunning revelation just leaked to Genesius Times undercover agents, Senators Lisa Murkowski, Mitt Romney, and Susan Collins have...
Village People file injunction against USMCA for copyright infringement
Today at Twelve Noon, President Trump signed the USMCA. Immediately after the signing, lawyers for the Village People filed an...
AOC recommends people drink Dos Equis to avoid contracting coronavirus
Since the deadly coronavirus has been ravaging parts of China and making its way to the United States, US Representative...
BREAKING: Super Bowl LIV cancelled due to devastating climate change predictions that haven’t come true
Dire climate change predictions have put the entirety of South Florida under water and while these predictions haven't come close...
‘Billionaires take all their money from workers’ says politician who takes all her money from workers
Democratic Socialist US Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez lashed out against evil wealthy businessmen and women in a recent interview. "No one...
All proceeds from John Bolton’s new book will go to help feed bombs to kids in the Middle East
Former National Security Advisor and general advocate of carpet bombing John Bolton's new book is giving new meaning to the...
Modelo, the maker of Corona denies initiating the spread of Coronavirus
Grupo Modelo, the company that manufactures Corona and Corona Light, is in a fight for its very existence today. Genesius...
Urban Dictionary to add 347,823 new non-binary pronouns in 2020 in order to alleviate confusion
In a stunning revelation, the New Urban Dictionary is about to reveal almost 350,000 new Woke non-binary pronouns simply because...
To save time Bernie will only declare things he doesn’t want to control from now on
Democratic socialist and Democratic favorite in the 2020 presidential primary Bernie Sanders has been on a tear recently, laying out...
