It’s Last Chance for Iran Day…Again 
Khan promises to ban knives ‘harder’ after latest London knife attack 
Mamdani Announces Microchip Requirement for Access to City-Owned Grocery Stores 
BREAKING: Arsonist blames climate change for making him start the Spokane fire 
BREAKING: Sen Mitch McConnell has tragically died tomorrow 
Disney launches new Colin Kaepernick ride consisting of 60 minutes of sitting on the bench
ANAHEIM—Disney has added a new Colin Kaepernick ride to go along with his Disney+ video series. The thrilling ride will...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
Tom Hanks has ‘no respect’ for people not wearing face masks while trafficking children
Tom Hanks has said he has "no respect" for people who refuse to wear a face mask while peddling children...
Merriam-Webster removes words with ‘black’ in them from dictionary for their ties to slavery
As of this morning there have been over a dozen new 'movements'. GT has reported on several including many that...
BREAKING: Clinton Foundation now offering ‘suicide insurance’ to Ghislaine Maxwell
NEW YORK—The Clinton Foundation expanded its reach today to include not another form of charity but a business aspect: Suicide...
Ghislaine Maxwell moved to intensive care unit as coronavirus symptoms worsen
NEW YORK--British socialite and long-time associate of CIA frontman disgraced financier Jeffrey Epstein, Ghislaine Maxwell, has been moved to the...
Cuomo, De Blasio frontrunners in 2020 ‘Miss Management Pageant’
There are just so many nominees this year the Miss Management committee is having a hard time deciding which ones...
BREAKING: Kanye West announces 2016 presidential run
Kanye West has returned to headlines recently, whether for his 10-year deal with Gap (Yeezy Gap will arrive next year)...
Trump unveils alteration to Mount Rushmore in Independence Day rally
President Donald Trump on Friday accused "angry mobs" of trying to erase history with efforts to remove or rethink monuments...
John Bolton scaring the crap out of kids his national 3rd-grade story time book tour
People think the book, "The Room Where It Happened" is about John Bolton's experience in the Oval Office. That would...
Democratic Governors celebrate Independence Day by locking everyone in their basements
East Lansing, MI—Just as COVID-19 restrictions are being lifted across the nation, Democratic governors are celebrating Independence Day by locking...
