Congress pauses demanding release of Epstein files in order to block release of congressional sex abuse files 
WATCH: Fat Gun: Doughboy 
Iranian general writes scathing 1-star review for Chinese military drones purchased on Temu 
Sources have informed Trump that the Federal Reserve is just 2 weeks away from developing a nuclear weapon 
BREAKING: Khamenei meets 72 virgins after he dies 
AOC: If socialism doesn’t work, why are all my socialist friends in DC multi-millionaires?
WASHINGTON, DC—Friends, I had another deep thought that I'd like to share. Lots of idiots out there say that socialism...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
Bruce Springsteen releases ‘Born in the Somali-A’ in tribute of the financially savvy immigrants
In a bold artistic pivot that has left fans and critics alike reaching for their tax returns, Bruce Springsteen today...
BREAKING: Trump Ends Minnesota Standoff by Trading Minneapolis for Alberta, Canada
Washington, D.C. – In a move described by White House officials as "the art of the deal on a continental...
Democrats hand out fake Social Security cards to illegal immigrants during a ‘No One Is Above the Law’ rally
Washington, D.C. – In what organizers are calling a "bold step toward inclusive justice," top Democrats hosted a star-studded "No...
Bruce Springsteen threatens to make Republicans listen to his music until deportations end
In a dramatic escalation of his long-running feud with conservative America, Bruce Springsteen has issued what aides are calling his...
JUST IN: Ilhan Omar opens ‘Quality Akting Skool’ following Oscar win
In a development that has Academy voters and conspiracy theorists alike double-checking their popcorn supplies, Rep. Ilhan Omar (D-MN) announced...
LIFE HACK: How to write off your involuntary donation to ‘Quality Learing Center’ on your taxes
In these trying economic times, savvy taxpayers are always on the lookout for clever ways to reduce their burden to...
BREAKING: People who want to tax cow farts are upset about Trump’s tariffs
WASHINGTON, DC—Green New Deal Democrats are reportedly fuming over President Trump’s latest tariff announcements—not because of trade imbalances or economic...
Ilhan Omar Wins Oscar for Best Performance in a Fake and Gay Staged Attack on Congressperson
HOLLYWOOD, CA — In a ceremony that managed to be both predictable and somehow still shocking, Representative Ilhan Omar was...
How Many Protesters Need to Die from Back-Alley Deportations Just Because Local Politicians Think the Procedure Should Be Banned?
In the shadow of America’s cruelest policy experiment, we must confront a grim reality: the municipal and state bans on...