Bernie declares eating $6.2 million duct-taped bananas a human right to be paid for by government 
Jaguar introduces new car to match its new ad campaign 
BREAKING: I was raped by whoever Trump selects for one of his cabinet positions 
BREAKING: Elon Musk buys MSNBC to constantly air video of Alex Jones giving Morning Joe and Mika noogies 
CNN: Startled by Loud Noises, President Kennedy Trips and Falls in Limousine 
Senator John Fetterman back to work while recovering at Walter Reed
WASHINGTON, DC—Senator John Fetterman (D-PA) was back at work Monday at Walter Reed National Military Medical Center. The images show Fetterman...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
BREAKING: Fauci denies crazy conspiracy theory that there was a pandemic
WASHINGTON, DC—After evidence has surfaced proving that Dr. Anthony Fauci was responsible for funding the Wuhan lab from which SARS-CoV-2...
New study shows Gen-Z girls are actually capable of doing things without posting about it on social media first
In a groundbreaking new study, researchers have discovered that Gen-Z girls are actually capable of doing things without posting about...
Lori Lightfoot to return to Mos Eisley cantina full time after mayoral loss to be with her people
MOS EISLEY, TATOOINE—Chicago Mayor Lori Lightfoot has returned to the Mos Eisley cantina on the planet of Tatooine, just weeks...
Local woman first to do something first before a man does it
Women have a long history of firsts in which a woman does something for the first time after a man...
Ladies, let me explain what ‘mansplaining’ is—it’s very simple
As a highly intelligent and knowledgeable individual, I am well-versed in the art of "mansplaining". You're probably unfamiliar with this...
BREAKING: Scientists warn Earth could run out of conspiracy theories by 2025 if they keep coming true at the current rate
WORLD—Scientists around the world have warned that the Earth could run out of conspiracy theories by the year 2025 if...
Anti-war Democrats excited for Biden to start WWIII
WASHINGTON – In a rare show of bipartisanship, the top anti-war liberals joined with blood-thirsty Republicans to celebrate President* Joe...
BREAKING: Buttigieg surveys Ohio train disaster site in full Medieval armor
Former mayor and current Secretary of Transportation Pete Buttigieg made headlines recently when he was spotted wearing an unusual form...
Embrace Your Natural Beauty with The Rat’s Nest Hairdo
Move over, mullets and bowl cuts - the latest hairstyle trend has arrived, and it's sure to turn heads. Introducing...
