Justin Trudeau announces he has COVID after wife asks him to clean dishes
OTTAWA—Justin Trudeau revealed yet another case of poorly-timed COVID when his wife asked him to finish cleaning the dinner dishes.The...
Canada
BREAKING: Justin Trudeau’s security to use only NERF guns from now on
OTTAWA—In a bold move, Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has prohibited guns for people protecting him and will instead will...
Justin Trudeau banned from Russia; can’t return new babushka
MOSCOW—Russian officials banned Justin Trudeau from entry to the country, cancelling an upcoming meeting scheduled months ago. The Prime Minister...
BREAKING: Heavily armed Russians arrest peaceful Ukrainian protesters at gun point
KYIV—Video and photographic evidence have shown Russians beating and trampling peaceful Ukrainian protesters at gun point. Sources also say that...
GT retracts ‘Fascist Trudeau’ article for not being fake enough
After careful deliberation and a good deal of soul-searching, I have decided to write this letter to the Editorial Board...
BREAKING: Trudeau retaliates for Russia’s invasion of Ukraine by declaring war on Canada
OTTAWA—Following the aggressive move by Russia to move troops into two breakaway regions of eastern Ukraine, Canadian Prime Minister Justin...
Freedom Fries renamed White Supremacy Fries
CANADA--Restaurants across the country are updating their menus to identify their freedom fries by the more modern progressive term, white...
Trudeau declares war on truckers; leads cavalry of inflatable unicorns to take out bouncy castle
OTTAWA—Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has declared war on the trucker convoy for freedom in Canada and is leading a cavalry...
Trudeau: ‘These fascist truckers are promoting dangerous ideas like ending fascism’
OTTAWA—Snowy but mostly violent protests continue to erupt throughout Canada as white supremacist truckers of all races hold makeshift signs...
BREAKING: Trudeau outlaws honking, bans all Canadian geese from country
OTTAWA—Canadian Fascist Party Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has outlawed all honking in response to the 2022 Trucker Convoy for Freedom...
