Fauci cancels Christmas so he won’t have to go back to North Pole to make toys
WASHINGTON, DC—Chief medical adviser to US President* Joe Biden, diminutive Dr. Anthony Fauci has decided to cancel Christmas this year...
Dr. Anthony Fauci
BREAKING: Biden to replace Christmas with 12 variants of Coronamas
WASHINGTON, DC—Due to the rise of gas prices, an increase in inflation, and overall economic failure, the the Biden administration...
BREAKING: Dr. Fauci announces the Ermahgerd variant
WASHINGTON, DC—Dr. Anthony Fauci, leading US doctor of all things medical and sciencey has just announced a new horrible variant...
Waukesha terrorist named Time Person of the Year for 2021
NEW YORK—Time Magazine has followed up the 2020 Person of the Year (Joe Biden and Kamala Harris) with an even...
Disney recasts Star Wars with Fauci as Princess Leia
HOLLYWOOD—This Christmas, Disney has a treat for us: the re-re-release of Star Wars with Dr. Anthony Fauci staring as Princess...
BREAKING: US proposes new lockdown to stop the Omicron variant
US—Citizens across the US proposed new lockdown measures in the face of the scary-sounding Omicron coronavirus variant. "It's pretty clear...
FDA agrees to use children in deadly experiments instead of dogs
WASHINGTON, DC—Following outrage about Dr. Anthony Fauci's use of beagles in horrible experiments, the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has...
CNN: Fauci’s dog torture experiments were mostly peaceful
(CNN) The Republicans are leading another witch hunt against Dr. Anthony Fauci, who conducted mostly peaceful dog torture experiments while...
Biden sends Fauci to Amazon to practice vaccine blow dart technique
XCHITH-TI, Amazon—Ideas have been pouring in from all over the world on how the federal government can somehow overcome the...
AOC sees nothing wrong with using horse paste to treat COVID
WASHINGTON, DC—Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) has stepped out into the firing lines and defended the use of ivermectin horse paste...
