New ‘free speech’ theater opens in Portland: patrons can yell ‘FIRE!’ if they want
PORTLAND—A controversial new “free speech” theater opened in the thriving Portland arts district last night, triggering protests by firefighters and...
portland
BREAKING: G-D Will Destroy Portland If He Can’t Find Ten Righteous People In The City
HEAVEN—Heavenly sources confirmed that the city of Portland is in mortal danger. If G-D cannot find ten righteous people in...
Mayor reminds citizens to wear BLM gear when burning city so the FBI won’t investigate
PORTLAND, OR—City officials urged that rioters proudly display their Black Lives Matter gear while burning the city down in protest...
Portland offers free hits of crack with proof of COVID vaccination
PORTLAND, OR—Residents of Portland are lining up to receive their free hits of crack rock—a little extra incentive for receiving...
Biden supporters set fire to their homes in solidarity with rioters
PORTLAND, OR—They say an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. That has now been proven beyond a...
Portland Mayor takes full responsibility for blaming Trump for the problems in his city
PORTLAND, OR—Mayor Ted Wheeler minced no words as he took full responsibility for blaming other people for the problems in...
Texas Governor sets up ‘Wall of Moms’ to keep Californians out of the state
“A great idea is a great idea!” Texas governor Greg Abbott shouted as he watched the “wall of moms” separate...
BREAKING: Trump sends parents of toddlers in to negotiate with Portland protesters
PORTLAND—President Donald Trump has had enough of the Portland protesters, making loud noises and destroying stuff. He is sending in...
Biden would commute Boston Marathon bomber’s sentence so he can join Antifa in Portland
An appellate court has tossed the death sentence and overturned three of the convictions of Boston Marathon bomber Dzhokhar Tsarnaev. Presumptive Democratic...
Portland moms finally pick up their kids from their little Antifa protest
PORTLAND, OR--Moms from around Portland finally came to pick up their kids from their little Antifa protest at the federal...
