BREAKING: Hillary Clinton admits servers for Iowa caucus located in Chappaqua
Genesius Times breaking news reporter, Imonit Ritenow, has uncovered stunning secret documents and satellite images. They reveal Democrat-run servers being...
Month: February 2020
Iowan Dems scramble to find a candidate who doesn’t actually suck
For over a year, Iowans have hosted campaign stops by over three thousand Democratic presidential hopefuls in effort to prove...
To raise awareness during Super Bowl, Shakira used the same rope that Epstein used when he didn’t kill himself
During the most meaningful and poignant Super Bowl halftime show ever, singer and performer Shakira raised awareness during her rope...
BREAKING: Ben and Jerry’s “Peach-Mint” recalled after attempting to suicide over 63 million people
Genesius Times food critic, Buffet Bill Scaletopper, has been given another exclusive, revealing Ben and Jerry's newest and most disgusting...
Super Bowl halftime show protests sex trafficking in bold pole dance
Sex trafficking is a growing concern with hundreds of thousands reportedly being held against their will around the globe. Recent...
Democrats demand that Russia stops interfering in the elections they’re trying to rig
As the Iowa Caucuses draw near, top Democrats are demanding that Russia stops interfering in the elections they're trying to...
Shakira to sacrifice two goats in annual Illuminati halftime show
MIAMI—The annual Illuminati initiation ritual, also known as the Super Bowl half time show, will feature an unprecedented number of...
Entire family loses salvation during drive to church
Theologians around the world are scrambling to make changes to established church teaching this morning after it was revealed that...
Observers astonished UK survives 24 hours apart from EU
International observers are astonished that the United Kingdom hasn't disintegrated into a chaotic primordial cesspool of racists and xenophobes after...
With climate activists refusing to have children, experts predict critical shortage of child climate activists within 12 years
GLASGOW, UK - The world's elite are gassing up their Gulfstreams in preparation for this year's Climate Summit. Millions of...
