LA Health Dept. giving out free COVID masks with holes for easier crack smoking
LOS ANGELES — The LA Department of Health is giving away free face masks with holes cut out in a...
Month: May 2020
Trump mandates all hotels include a copy of ‘The Coronavirus Bible’ during pandemic
President Trump has mandated that all hotels replace their Gideons Bible with a copy of "The Coronavirus Bible (Revised Satirical...
House passes latest coronavirus stimulus bill containing 12 pounds of literal horse dung in it
WASHINGTON — The House on Friday narrowly passed a $3 trillion coronavirus relief package crafted by Democrats that would include another round...
Biden fires his speech writer Jar Jar Binks
Displeased with his speech writing up to this point, presidential candidate and former Vice President Joe Biden has fired Jar...
BREAKING: 23andMe reveals Nancy Pelosi shares 99.97% of her DNA with the Wuhan bat
Have you seen the Wuhan bat? The teeth alone are scary enough but put that together with the rest and...
CDC releases official ‘contact tracer’ uniform and haircut
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has released the official uniform and haircut for the contact tracer agents...
CNN CEO selects Greta Thunberg to conduct triple bypass surgery on him
CNN CEO, Jeff Zucker, is in need of triple heart bypass surgery and he has selected none other than world-renowned...
Police shoot local dad for violating Justin Trudeau’s finger gun ban
FAIRVIEW, ALBERTA — Following Justin Trudeau's recent ban of 1,500 makes and models of firearms, Canadian officials marked their first...
New border wall now totally impermeable to everything except 2×6″ bricks of every drug known to man
Is it just me or does that wall seem like it's full of holes? Not just a few here and...
BREAKING: Congress repeals 13th Amendment to make all Americans debt slaves
These United States had a program of Mandatory Volunteerism a few hundred years ago. It had a catchy name......hold on........give...
