Georgia official assures voters no one has stolen any election after this one
ATLANTA—Georgia election officials assured voters that they won't steal anymore elections after this one. "Let me be absolutely clear. The...
Month: January 2021
Local Libertarian eagerly awaiting Trump’s opinion to hate it
HARTFORD, CT—Too busy with the holidays to keep up with the news, Libertarian voter Michael McStuffing is patiently waiting for...
Mayor De Blasio renames Manhattan to Womanhattan
NEW YORK CITY—Not to be outdone by the stunning and brave US Congress, which has eliminated all gendered terms in...
Kamala Harris recalls just wanting ‘fweedom’ in her childhood at Auschwitz
In a heartwarming story for Elle Magazine, President-elect Kamala Harris recalled her turbulent childhood at the Nazi concentration camp at...
With Biden win, Republicans to pretend to be fiscally conservative again
WASHINGTON, DC—Fox News reported earlier that shortly after congratulating “President-Elect” Joe Biden, Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell confirmed in a...
Woke Rep Emanuel Cleaver changes name to Ewomanuel Cleaver
WASHINGTON DC—The super woke 117th US Congress continues its pushing the boundaries of societal norms. After Democrats removed all gendered...
Colorado woman refuses to see mountain of evidence of mountain
DENVER, CO—Constantly standing with her back to the Rocky Mountains, Susan Keller remains confident there are no mountains in Colorado...
BREAKING: Joe Biden finally concedes to Kamala Harris
WILMINGTON, DE—Former presidential candidate Joe Biden has finally conceded the 2020 election to former running mate Kamala Harris. "My wife,...
Amid pandemic, millennials forced to ‘rent a vowel’ on Wheel of Fortune instead of buying them
The Hill released a report today highlighting the challenges millennials have faced throughout the pandemic, which have been many no...
Local Republican eagerly awaiting Trump’s opinion to determine his own opinion
HARTFORD, CT- Too busy with the holidays to keep up with the news, Republican voter Gregory McTater is patiently waiting...
