Biden: ‘I’m very excited to have Transformers in the US Military’
WASHINGTON, DC—President Joe Biden was excited to hear that, "the US Military would be allowing Transformers to serve," overturning a...
Year: 2021
Biden cancels April Fool’s Day because it marginalizes Democrats
WASHINGTON, DC—President Joe Biden has officially cancelled April Fool's Day because it promotes the continued marginalization of his voters. "April...
GOP to hold hearing to determine why nothing ever happens after their hearings
WASHINGTON, DC—Republican lawmakers have scheduled a hearing to determine why nothing ever happens after their hearings, sources say. "We have...
BREAKING: FBI has evidence of Matt Gaetz engaging in sex trafficking and illicit drugs with minors
WASHINGTON, DC--The FBI has photographic and video evidence of Representative Matt Gaetz (R-FL) participating in sexual activities and engaging in...
No you can’t just ‘identify’ as being vaccinated. That only works with social constructs like having a penis.
It has come to my attention that so-called people are trying to act like they "identify" as being vaccinated without...
Biden hires the Wizard of Oz to interpret his immigration policy
WASHINGTON, DC—No one is quite sure what US President Joe Biden's immigration policy is, least of all, the president himself....
Here are 10 common sense gun control measures to prevent future shootings
Whenever a mass shooting occurs, it’s important to ask ourselves what policies could’ve prevented said shooting. With now two shootings...
JUST IN: AOC suggests banning murder to stop mass shootings
NEW YORK CITY—Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (NY) took the nation by storm today when she suggested the federal government should ban...
Portland offers free hits of crack with proof of COVID vaccination
PORTLAND, OR—Residents of Portland are lining up to receive their free hits of crack rock—a little extra incentive for receiving...
Kamala Harris to host ‘Empowering Women’ talk with Bill Clinton on Epstein Island
WASHINGTON, DC—President Vice President Kamala Harris received backlash after promoting an 'Empowering Women' talk with former president and accused rapist...
