Satan opens 10th circle of Hell where all you do is install car seats in minivans all day
In an ongoing effort to increase the misery of millions of damned souls, Satan has announced a brand new, more...
The Petty Prophet
The Petty Prophet is a shadowy figure and a reporter-at-large for Genesius Times. Little is known about him, but he's most likely a straight white male. Ew. You should probably disavow everything he writes if you know what's good for you. Follow at www.thepettyprophet.com
Hero of the Christian faith writes ‘Soli Deo Gloria’ after all his inane Facebook posts
PHOENIX, AZ—Barnabas White, a local 13-point Calvinist from Sola Scriptura Veritas Ordo Salutis Church in Phoenix Arizona is wowing both...
Bernie assures public that his ‘re-education camps’ will be tuition-free
WASHINGTON, DC—In the wake of devastating footage from Project Veritas, showing Bernie Sanders campaign workers accidentally revealing Bernie Sanders’ plan to convert...
Nation’s brooms glad to finally be recognized for their other talents
BALTIMORE MD—Broom Union Representatives from the Maryland Broom Company are marking yesterday as a historic day for the broom community....
Feminists fear rapidly growing Christian Church in Iran may turn the country into The Handmaid’s Tale
PORTLAND, OR - American feminists are sounding the alarm over a rapidly growing and oppressive regime in the Middle East:...
Entire family loses salvation during drive to church
Theologians around the world are scrambling to make changes to established church teaching this morning after it was revealed that...
With climate activists refusing to have children, experts predict critical shortage of child climate activists within 12 years
GLASGOW, UK - The world's elite are gassing up their Gulfstreams in preparation for this year's Climate Summit. Millions of...
6 Troubling White Nationalist Symbols Hidden Within The New Space Force Logo
The Anti-Defamation League is sounding the alarm over secret Nazi imagery they have discovered hidden within President Trump’s new Space...
School admins worried about increase in mass literacy, overall decency among homeschool kids
WASHINGTON, DC—Officials from the American Federation of Teachers and the Common Core Initiative have released a troubling report that paints...
