The Latest Trend in Detox: Eating Dirt
Are you tired of drinking green juice and eating only kale for your detox? Say goodbye to bland and boring...
Anita Goodcock
Introducing the Latest Beauty Trend: The Cactus Facial
Ladies and gentlemen, get ready to feel the prick of beauty! Introducing the latest and greatest beauty trend to hit...
Horoscope Predictions: A Guide to Intentionally Misleading Yourself
Welcome to another exciting edition of horoscope predictions! Are you tired of living in the real world and facing reality?...
Beauty Tips 101: A Guide to Looking Like a Complete Fraud
Ladies, are you tired of feeling like you're not good enough? Tired of looking in the mirror and not seeing...
BREAKING: Santa Claus has died unexpectedly following Fauci visit
NORTH POLE—The world is reeling from news that Santa Claus has died suddenly and unexpectedly, shocking experts who were sure...
Biden warns that democracy is being threatened by too many people participating in democracy
WASHINGTON, DC—President Biden has warned the country that democracy is being threatened by too many people participating in democracy. Biden...
BREAKING: Kamala Harris announces new NFL rules ‘based on equity’
WASHINGTON, DC—In a press conference today, Vice President* Kamala Harris announced that the NFL will move to a new scoring...
WHO proposes 14-day halt to all gay sex to slow the spread of monkeypox
NEW YORK—The World Health Organization (WHO) has proposed a halt to all gay sex to stop the spread of Monkeypox....
Planned Parenthood signs lease with Spirit Halloween after SCOTUS overturns Roe v Wade
US—In a savvy business move, the nation's leading abortion provider Planned Parenthood has signed a lease with Spirit Halloween to...
Pelosi calls husband’s DUI a ‘setup’ by Putin
NAPA VALLEY, CALIFORNIA—Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi's husband and designated driver was arrested Sunday for driving under the influence...
