Exavier Saskagoochie

Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!

Big Bird falls off stage, cancels all appearances following vaccination

Exavier Saskagoochie November 8, 2021

US--Big Bird has cancelled all appearances after falling off stage following highly publicized vaccination. The eight-foot two-inch (249 cm) tall...

Man eaten by shark dies from white supremacy coronavirus

Exavier Saskagoochie November 4, 2021

(CNN) CORONADO, CA—Evidence is beginning to mount that young and healthy people can contract COVID-19 and die from the horrifying...

McAuliffe wonders where his ‘Biden spike’ of votes went

Exavier Saskagoochie November 3, 2021

RICHMOND, VA—Terry McAuliffe is waiting for his 'Biden spike' of votes to come in and for all the media to...

CNN: Why napping during climate speeches is good for the environment

Exavier Saskagoochie November 2, 2021

(CNN)Taking naps on the job is the new technique to help the environment, science says. So, when the leader of...

CBS cancels World Series due to constant ‘F*** Joe Biden’ chanting in crowd

Exavier Saskagoochie October 31, 2021

US—CBS has cancelled the World Series after constant chanting from the crowd disrupted game four. Fans chanted "F*** Joe Biden"...

Biden says he will probably vote for ‘this Brandon guy’ next election

Exavier Saskagoochie October 30, 2021

US—Following a recent surge in popularity of a dark horse presidential candidate "Brandon", even sitting President* Joe Biden says that...

BREAKING: Biden to replace unvaxxed soldiers with army of Rachel Levine clones

Exavier Saskagoochie October 29, 2021

WASHINGTON, DC—Facing pressure from an increasingly hostile and militaristic China, President* Biden has approved a program to replace all military...