Democrats promise to fix all the nation’s problems by killing more babies
WASHINGTON, DC—In the face of crashing stock markets and skyrocketing inflation, Democrats have promised to kill more babies, outgoing White...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
Newsom takes break from force-vaccinating people to lecture everyone about bodily autonomy
SACRAMENTO—Governor Gavin Newsom has taken a short break from forcing people to wear masks, stay inside, and getting vaccinated in...
BREAKING: There is a new world’s fastest woman swimmer
Ladies and gentlemen and gentlemen who are ladies and ladies who are gentlemen, there is a new fastest woman swimmer...
BREAKING: Insurrections are okay now
WASHINGTON, DC—Insurrection is now okay, following the leaking of the Supreme Court decision that is poised to overturn Roe Versus...
BREAKING: AOC says she was killed by leaked SCOTUS decision and is now dead
WASHINGTON, DC—US Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) has issued a statement that she was “literally killed” by the leaked SCOTUS decision...
BREAKING: SCOTUS abortion decision leaked by The Ghost of Kiev
WASHINGTON, DC—The identity of the person who leaked the SCOTUS decision, which likely will overturn Roe v Wade has been...
Dozens protest attack on women’s rights without being able to define ‘women’
WASHINGTON, DC—Dozens of protesters descended on the nation's capital to protest an attack on women's rights despite not being able...
Hillary wears dress dyed with the blood of her victims to the Met Gala
NEW YORK—Former Presidential Candidate Hillary Clinton wore a dress dyed with the blood of her victims to the 2022 Met...
DHS hiring unemployed Antifa activists for new fascist Thought Police brigade
WASHINGTON, DC—Nothing says “anti-fascism” quite like enforcing the disinformation policy of the government. That’s what thousands of newly employed Antifa...
Mayorkas assures us the Disinformation Board will only infringe on free speech for our own good
WASHINGTON, DC—Homeland Security Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas on Sunday claimed that the new Disinformation Governance Board would only infringe on the...
