David Hogg campaigns to ban assault donations like those used on AOC’s abuela
HOGG HEAVEN, FL—Activist David Hogg, who is known for his fight to ban guns and his MyPillow competition MyDillow, has...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
BREAKING: Biden declares Branch Covidians official state religion; will persecute non-believers
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Joe Biden, in conjunction with the future President* Kamala Harris, has declared that Fauciism is the new state...
Local cop calls LeBron James to tell him what he should’ve done better in playoff loss
SAN BERNADINO, CA—A local police officer Bernie Jambles spoke to NBA star LeBron James earlier to tell him exactly what...
BREAKING: Guatamala deports Kamala Harris
GUATAMALA CITY—Immigration authorities in Guatamala have deported an annoying American named Kamala Harris. She will be extradited to Mexico, where...
AOC reveals the trauma of being attacked by right-wing donations to her grandmother
WASHINGTON, DC—The relentless attacks on Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) continue. President* Biden awarded AOC the Purple Heart for her role...
YouTube bans YouTube for showing videos of Dr. Fauci contradicting Dr. Fauci
MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA—Google's media giant YouTube has been banned indefinitely from its own video streaming service for violating its community...
Kamala Harris flies 10-truck caravan to Guatamala to lecture them on climate change
GUATAMALA CITY—Vice President* Kamala Harris flew a 10-Suburban caravan to Guatamala in order to lecture them on climate change. "It...
Facebook fact-checkers have investigated themselves and found they did nothing wrong
MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA—Officials at the various Facebook fact-checking services have investigated themselves over several allegations that they promoted misinformation during...
LeBron James demands ‘more equality’ in NBA after Lakers lose 1st round Playoff match
LOS ANGELES—NBA superstar LeBron James demanded more equality in America after his team, the Lakers, were ousted from the NBA...
Lightfoot launches ‘shots for shots’ program to increase vaccination among gang bangers
CHICAGO—Mayor Lori Lightfoot has launched a new program called "shots for shots" to increase COVID-19 vaccination rates among Chicago's gang...
