BREAKING: Powell announces Federal Reserve has added Hawk Tuah Girl to advisory role
Federal Reserve Chairman Jerome Powell announced today that the central bank will now be seeking investment advice from Hailey Welch,...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
BREAKING: Disney pulls scene of Clinton’s visit to Epstein Island from Pixar’s show after Kamala’s loss
VISTA DEL MAL, CA—Disney has decided to remove a controversial scene from an upcoming Pixar streaming series. The scene in...
AOC: If gun control doesn’t work, then why aren’t there any shootings in gun-free zones?
This is so infuriating. Shame on the NRA. Shame on the GOP. Shame on that state! After another mass shooting,...
BREAKING: Leftists take a break from celebrating shooting of healthcare CEO to call for gun control
Leftist activists who were recently seen getting tattoos to celebrate the assassination of United Healthcare CEO Brian Thompson have now...
BREAKING: Nation horrified to learn that mass shooter wasn’t a straight white male
In an event that has shaken the core beliefs of many Americans, the country woke up to the shocking news...
BREAKING: Trump appoints David Hogg as US Ambassador to Faghanistan
In a move that has left political commentators, diplomats, and the entire nation of Faghanistan (which, for the record, does...
Local white supremacist protesters demand figgy pudding and won’t go ‘until we get some’
Several suburbs across the metropolitan area have been besieged by live action role-players protesting seemingly random homes with demands of...
These prominent Democrats are vowing to skip Trump’s inauguration
WASHINGTON, DC—In a display of political theater that could only be described as both bizarre and predictable, several high-profile Democrats...
Man who accidentally left 300,000 guns for Taliban gives lecture on gun control
WASHINGTON, DC—The man who accidentally left 300,000 guns for the Taliban and is sending millions of dollars in weapons to...
BREAKING: Biden offers free healthcare and $6k a month to aliens invading New Jersey in drones
Biden offers free healthcare and $6000 a month to all the aliens invading new Jersey in drones TRENTON, NJ—President* Joe...
