Nation’s nurses worried they’ll have nothing to do if TikTok is banned
Nurses across the country and even across the world have spoken out against the horrifying prospect of President Trump banning...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
Local woman narrowly avoids giving herself COVID driving alone in the country
A local woman who wished to go by the name Karen only narrowly avoided giving herself COVID-19 while driving alone...
CDC: Current outbreak of stupidity may be worse than the outbreak of coronavirus
The CDC has released an official statement on the recent outbreak of stupidity that is threatening to overtake the coronavirus...
Gates says he will release a deadlier virus if people don’t take his first one seriously enough
SEATTLE—Tech founder and worldwide supervillain Bill Gates says that he will "release a deadlier virus" if people don't take his...
AOC disgusted to learn Epstein excluded people of color from sex trafficking ring
NEW YORK—US Representative for New York, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez was horrified to learn that Jeffrey Epstein and Ghislaine Maxwell instructed one...
BREAKING: Ellen DeGeneres dies at 62 from complications of cancel culture
HOLLYWOOD—Talkshow host and everyone's favorite daytime lesbian, Ellen DeGeneres has died at the age of 52 from complications of cancel...
BREAKING: Trump sends parents of toddlers in to negotiate with Portland protesters
PORTLAND—President Donald Trump has had enough of the Portland protesters, making loud noises and destroying stuff. He is sending in...
Biden would commute Boston Marathon bomber’s sentence so he can join Antifa in Portland
An appellate court has tossed the death sentence and overturned three of the convictions of Boston Marathon bomber Dzhokhar Tsarnaev. Presumptive Democratic...
Clinton: ‘I did not have sexual relations with that plane’
Former President Bill Clinton denied knowing anything about the “terrible crimes” allegedly committed by billionaire financier Jeffrey Epstein. In a...
Fauci: You must give yourself a swirly to prevent catching the coronavirus
Are you prepared to do your part in combating the coronavrius epidemic? The esteemed expert of immunology and overlord of...
