BREAKING: World shocked that a beautiful actual woman won the Miss Universe beauty pageant
MEXICO CITY—The world is shocked and horrified as an actually beautiful woman has won the Miss Universe beauty pageant. Victoria...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
BREAKING: Mitch McConnell blinks twice to indicate there will be no recess appointments in Trump’s new administration
Current Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell blinked twice in a recent interview to indicate that there will be no recess...
BREAKING: John Blasey Bolton claims Matt Gaetz sexually assaulted her at a party in the ’80s
California Professor John Blasey Bolton has accused Congressman Matt Gaetz of sexually assaulting him at a party in the 1980s....
BREAKING: Republicans pick Democrat John Thune as leader because they felt sorry for winning so much
US—Republicans have decided to select Democrat John Thune as the new leader of the Senate, citing their sympathy for the...
BREAKING: Donald Trump appoints Harry Sisson as US Ambassador to Faghanistan
WASHINGTON, DC—In a bold, unprecedented diplomatic move, former President Donald Trump has announced the appointment of TikTok personality Harry Sisson...
Harris campaign ‘pretty sure’ they lost because they didn’t spend enough money on twerking
WASHINGTON, DC—The Kamala Harris campaign has come forward to admit that their defeat in the recent election can be attributed...
BREAKING: In response to calls to have the first female president, Biden comes out as a trans woman
WASHINGTON, DC—In response to a chorus of calls to have the first female president installed, President* Joe Biden has announced...
VETERANS DAY: Biden honors AOC for her service during the War of January 6th
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Joe Biden on Veterans Day participated in a ceremony honoring US Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and all the undercover...
Photos surface of slave-owners shaving their heads in solidarity after Abraham Lincoln’s 1860 election
In a little-known chapter of American history, slave owners across the nation decided to shave their heads in solidarity after...
BREAKING: Taylor releases new song: ‘I Picked the Wrong Person… Again’
NASHVILLE—It’s heartbreak season once again for pop superstar Taylor Swift, who, following a recent bout of reflection, has allegedly set...
