Bernie promises Americans a 0-hour work day if elected president
At the Iowa United Food and Commercial Workers forum on Sunday, democratic socialist presidential candidate Bernie Sanders was asked whether he would...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
Beto seen trying to convince Texas church security to wait for police during shooting
WHITE SETTLEMENT, Texas—Armed members of the West Freeway Church of Christ stopped an alleged mass shooter from killing more than...
Man sues Burger King after ‘Impossible Whopper’ turns him into a woman
A local man is suing Burger King after one Impossible Whopper, the company's manufactured vegan meat burger, turned him into...
Thousands demand Trump’s impeachment before they end up with jobs
Unemployed liberals across the country are fuming at the low unemployment rate numbers, so much so that they are demanding...
BREAKING: Bernie Sanders caught impersonating Santa and stealing 90% of people’s gifts from under tree
Presidential candidate and ardent democratic socialist Bernie Sanders has been arrested for impersonating Santa Claus and entering people's homes in...
ABC swaps offensive Red Ryder BB Gun in ‘A Christmas Story’ with Frozen Elsa doll
The beloved Christmas movie A Christmas Story is getting a facelift in the new progressive era. Now, instead of Ralph...
Virginia replaces armed warrior on state flag with gender-fluid submissive
The new Democratic Virginia legislature isn't wasting any time progressing the state forward. After threatening to send the National Guard...
Pope Francis declares pathetic laser Christmas lights a mortal sin
In a bold move that will rock the foundations of Christendom, Pope Francis has declared the installation of and display...
Dems ban red plastic Solo cups because they ‘look too much like MAGA hats’
Jerry Nadler and Chuck Schumer have introduced legislation to ban the large plastic red cups used in beer pong due...
BREAKING: Suburban protesters demanding figgy pudding and won’t go ‘until we get some’
Several suburbs across the metropolitan area have been besieged by live action role-players protesting seemingly random homes with demands of...
