Coronavirus finally defends itself: ‘Killing people is only 3% of what I do’
In a surprise press conference, the notorious Coronavirus, which has causes so much death and destruction over the course of...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
Pelosi wears commemorative toilet paper earrings to coronavirus press conference
In a bold move of class and style during a chaotic time, Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) wore...
15-person coronavirus task force recommends gatherings of no more than 10 people
The 15-person White House coronavirus task force urged Americans to avoid groups larger than 10 people in a newly aggressive...
Bernie demands inept government that flubbed COVID-19 response take over entire healthcare system
Democratic socialist presidential hopeful Bernie Sanders has been extremely critical of the governmental response to the coronavirus outbreak and the...
Joe Biden: ‘My running mate will be a woman whether he knows it or not’
In a particularly confusing announcement during the latest Democratic debate, former Vice President Joe Biden, pledged to nominate a female...
Planned Parenthood taking extra care to prevent spread of coronavirus while they kill babies
With such coronavirus chaos going on in Italy and France, it's good to see when medical practitioners have their acts...
GT’s Definitive Guide to Panicking During the Coronavirus Pandemic
There has been a lot of confusion during the chaos of the coronavirus plague and pandemic. The CDC has said...
Ocasio-Cortez recommends money laundering to fight coronavirus
Visionary intellectual and United States Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez of New York has has issued a statement defending money laundering to...
Bill Gates leaves Microsoft board to focus on killing innocent people through biological weapons
Microsoft announced on Friday that Bill Gates is leaving the board, effective Friday. Gates is also stepping down from his position on...
PSA: All public events are cancelled so that residents can meet at Costco to fight over toilet paper
This is a Genesius Times Public Service Announcement regarding the unprecedented coronavirus outbreak: Until further notice, all public events in...
