Branch Covidians apply for official religion status
WASHINGTON DC—The Branch Covidian cult has applied to be recognized an official religion with the federal government. "We are just...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
People very eager to get multiple shots of new Russian COVID vaccine
MOSCOW—Russia plans to approve the world’s first COVID-19 vaccine in under two weeks – despite concerns about its safety and...
Harris will choose 10 lucky families for her ‘Universal Basic Incarceration’ program
Not to be outdone by Andrew Yang, who wants to give 10 lucky families $12,000 a year in universal basic...
CDC warns that COVID death toll may surpass Clinton body count
ATLANTA—As coronavirus cases have continued to rise in the U.S. throughout the summer, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention...
Cuomo named U-Haul’s #1 salesman for fifth consecutive year
NEW YORK—U-Haul has named Andrew Cuomo the #1 salesman of the year for the fifth consecutive year. It’s not just...
Archeologists discover first probable coronavirus victim
ATLANTA—Archeologists working in coordination with the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) have discovered the first probably coronavirus victim...
Biden decides Kamala Harris is ‘black enough’ to be his running mate
Joe Biden has finally decided Kamala Harris "black enough" to be his running mate for the 2020 presidential election. Biden...
HEARTWARMING: Young man comes out to parents
Here is a heartwarming video of a young man coming out to his parents. Be brave young people! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I6e7LBmUUCo
BREAKING: Biden supporters make off with millions in loot in rallies across Chicago
CHICAGO—COVID-19 restrictions didn't stop supporters for presumptive Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden from making off with millions of dollars in...
Biden sad no popcorn appeared after pushing ‘popcorn’ button on microwave
WASHINGTON DC—Presumptive Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden is furious after realizing his microwave is nothing but a foghorn-blowin' trolley jumper....
