BREAKING: Popeyes goes 24 hours without a brawl or shooting
In what some are calling a miracle, the fast food chain Popeyes has made it 24 hours without a brawl...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
San Francisco mandates wall-size murals of Greta Thunberg in every apartment
The San Francisco City Council has approved a measure to mandate a wall-sized mural of teen climate activist Greta Thunberg...
Millennial stunned he didn’t get a job after replying “OK Boomer” to every interview question
Local Millennial Braiden Stone was stunned he didn't get a job for a prominent tech firm in the area after...
Schiff schedules the next 5 years of Trump impeachment hearings
"This president, he’s like a planetary object,” Representative Adam Schiff said. “He warps time. And things that you think happened...
BREAKING: Jeffrey Epstein confesses to killing himself in 2019, quashing conspiracy theories
Disgraced financier Jeffrey Epstein has confessed to killing himself in a New York jail, quashing months of Internet skepticism and...
Leonardo DiCaprio points out all the suckers to Greta Thunberg from his private jet
Teen climate activist phenom Greta Thunberg recently made friends with actor and jet-setter Leonardo DiCaprio. They took a hike, at...
Local parents arrested for giving 13-year-old child beer while celebrating her chemical castration
A local couple is in jail for giving their transgender daughter beer during a celebration of her getting life-threatening hormone...
President Trump awards Beto his participation trophy
In an awkward ceremony at the White House, President Trump awarded Robert "Beto" O'Rourke his participation trophy for the 2020...
Schwarzenegger meets real life cyborg sent back in time to kill off humanity
Terminator actor Arnold Schwarzenegger had the opportunity recently to meet a real life cyborg sent back in time to kill...
Jeffrey Epstein voted straight party ticket in yesterday’s election
Jeffrey Epstein, who was last seen departing the coroner's office after committing suicide while on suicide watch in a New...
