All elected officials replaced with actual toddlers during government shutdown
Unbeknownst to the American public at large, all federal elected officials have been replaced with actual toddlers during the government...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
Millennials unsure how to pay off student debt but certain about how to run the US economy
Millions of Millennials and the younger "Generation Z" have graduated college and graduate school with upwards of hundreds of thousands...
Gillette stadium to host massive Jane Austen book club instead of “toxic masculine” football
The shaving products company, Gillette, has released a serious advertisement criticizing toxic masculinity and is expanding the campaign to their...
APA declares masculinity a disease; millions of men apply for disability and society collapses
The American Psychiatric Association recently published its guidelines for men and boys, which declared "traditional masculinity" a disease as it...
Congressional turd proposes 70% tax on rich for gold-plated sewers
The first-ever living turd to be elected to the US House of Representatives, Chet (@ChetTheTurd), is not wasting any time...
Ocasio-Cortez done trying to sell socialism; skipping to genocide and starvation stages
According to Marxist philosophy, there are several stages of socialism. The first is the argumentation stage and establishing the moral...
Social justice warriors condemn white blood cells for oppressing cells of color
A new trend among self-professed social justice warriors at American universities is a medical treatment aimed at eliminating white blood...
Most diverse Congress ever sworn in includes living turd
It was a historic swearing in ceremony Thursday as the most diverse United States House of Representatives was sworn in...
Transgender woman destroys game shop; wonders why people don’t treat her like a lady
In a barbaric rage, a biological man who prefers to be called a woman, destroyed a game store in Albuquerque,...
“Terrifying”: thousands injured while looking at monuments during government shutdown
Thousands of people have been reported injured while looking at inanimate stone monuments across the United States spurring worries about...
