BREAKING: Donald Trump appoints Harry Sisson as US Ambassador to Faghanistan
WASHINGTON, DC—In a bold, unprecedented diplomatic move, former President Donald Trump has announced the appointment of TikTok personality Harry Sisson...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
Harris campaign ‘pretty sure’ they lost because they didn’t spend enough money on twerking
WASHINGTON, DC—The Kamala Harris campaign has come forward to admit that their defeat in the recent election can be attributed...
BREAKING: In response to calls to have the first female president, Biden comes out as a trans woman
WASHINGTON, DC—In response to a chorus of calls to have the first female president installed, President* Joe Biden has announced...
VETERANS DAY: Biden honors AOC for her service during the War of January 6th
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Joe Biden on Veterans Day participated in a ceremony honoring US Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and all the undercover...
Photos surface of slave-owners shaving their heads in solidarity after Abraham Lincoln’s 1860 election
In a little-known chapter of American history, slave owners across the nation decided to shave their heads in solidarity after...
BREAKING: Taylor releases new song: ‘I Picked the Wrong Person… Again’
NASHVILLE—It’s heartbreak season once again for pop superstar Taylor Swift, who, following a recent bout of reflection, has allegedly set...
New Netflix docudrama portrays Trump in a shockingly positive light
Netflix has released a new docudrama about former President Donald Trump that portrays him in a positive light. However. The...
BREAKING: Maricopa County promises to be done counting votes in time for the next election
PHOENIX—Maricopa County election officials have promised that they will be done counting votes for the this election just in time...
BREAKING: Arizona to use Common Core math to ensure the ‘right’ candidate wins
PHOENIX, AZ—Election officials in the office of Arizona Secretary of State Katie Hobbs have explained that they are using Common...
Kamala Harris quietly changes pronouns on X to “Has/Been”
WASHINGTON, DC—Vice President Kamala Harris has quietly changed her social media pronouns on the platform X (formerly Twitter) to "Has/Been."...
